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I went to Mexico and told a lot of people that they don't speak Spanish. When someone said something that I couldn't hear well, I'd compliment their digestion.
Right phrase: No hablo Español (I don't speak Spanish)
What I said: No hablas Español (you don't speak Spanish)
Right phrase: Que dices (What you say)
What I said Que diges (what digestion!)
This is really funny. I assume those people had a good laugh? But why did nobody tell you?
Because people are super accommodating in non-WASPy countries. I'd try to speak Spanish and if they saw I was struggling too much, they'd say "let's speak English."
What's "WASPy"?
White Anglo-Saxon Protestant
It's a term for awkward Northern Europeans.
Thanks! As a white Northern European in a protestant area I concur that we are awkward.
I think most people can guess as it's very common to hear the "no habla" one.
I've got one though: A roommate told his new Spanish boyfriend that she wasn't feeling like meeting his parents because she was "muy embarazada".
Turns out that's not embarrassed, that's pregnant.
That's a really common one here in San Antonio where people speak conversational Spanish but don't know more formal words like that. One of my friends tripped and fell in front of her family visit from Mexico. It was at our graduation and she stepped on her gown. She said "estoy embarazada" and everyone freaked out, running to her aid. Her parents were really confused how their lesbian daughter got pregnant.
Es un milagro de navidad! (Navidaz?)