this post was submitted on 20 Oct 2024
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Not The Onion

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  1. Links to news stories from...
  2. ...credible sources, with...
  3. ...their original headlines, that...
  4. ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”

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[–] [email protected] 228 points 1 month ago (4 children)

i wonder why nobody signed the farewell card for the type of ass to sue for not getting a farewell card.

[–] [email protected] -1 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Why is a farewell card a binding legal obligation in the first place? Where are the manners police to whom we can appeal when our brittle feelings have been transgressed?

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago

You could always read the article and find out

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 month ago

You can sue for anything. I can sue you for trespassing in my home because your message is in it right now. Suing someone doesn't mean you're right or that you even have grounds to sue.

[–] [email protected] 48 points 1 month ago (2 children)

What's the opposite of eating the onion? I read your comment and scoffed, wondering who could actually believe this. The I saw the "Not" in the comm name.

[–] [email protected] 20 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I vote for this to become official.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago

Carried. roscoe boofed that apple

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (2 children)

I'm leaning towards either, "Fabricating The Onion," or "Puking The Onion." I think the first is a more accurate assessment of the situation though.

Edit: both my suggestions aren't any good next to "Picking/Plucking The Onion."

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

Presuming the onion

When it is in fact, an orange 😌

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

That's not bad, but I'm not sure it beats the other suggestion of, "Plucking the Onion."

Edit: I misremembered, they actually said "Picking the Onion."

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 month ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago

This is better than both of my suggestions. The only refinement I can suggest is,

"Plucking The Onion."

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 month ago

Pickling the onion

[–] [email protected] 20 points 1 month ago (1 children)

You're getting played by this misleading article. There is no evidence that anyone didn't sign the card because they didn't like her. If you follow the link to the actual article, there were two other people who didn't get cards either for the same reason. It's not in that articles, but I read elsewhere that because this happened during COVID it was just difficult to get people to sign them.

The woman sounds like a dope, but most people are kind and would sign the card anyway. Most people aren't looking to get petty revenge against people they don't even know that well.

[–] [email protected] 20 points 1 month ago

Except unlike those others, this woman sued (for a bunch of things, not just the card thing), and the judge dismissed all of them saying she displayed a victim mentality over normal office interactions. I'm not faulting people for assuming she's not very likable.