this post was submitted on 09 Jan 2025
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For example, Marmite Crumpets don't exist. You cannot buy them at the supermarket. To be clear: you can buy crumpets, you can buy marmite, you can buy butter; but you have to assemble them at home.

If you walk into a breakfast cafe, they will happily serve you sausage / egg / bacon / french toast / bubble / squeak (whatever that is). But no marmite crumpets. If you ask them to make it, they will give you a very strange look. It's not typically offered. It's something you just have to make at home.

It is unbuyable. Any tourist who comes to the UK to try a Marmite crumpet would need to bring a toaster or an oven with them, or quickly befriend a brit and hope that they have all the ingredients at home.

It's not a secret. You just can't have it.

*munches into crumpet thoughtfully, and salivates at the juicy savory delight, whilst staring at you pityingly and condescendingly*

Anyway, what's something that I could never experience unless I made it myself in your local?

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[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 hours ago* (last edited 3 hours ago) (1 children)

Marmite on Weetbix.

Ingredients:

  • 1 Weetbix
  • butter (lots)
  • Marmite (lots)

Method:
Select a choice looking compressed wheat brick, apply a thick layer of butter, spread the Marmite across the layer of butter.

This was a common school snack when I was growing up.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 hour ago

I'm gonna try this. Does the brick need to be wet or toasted?

[–] [email protected] 1 points 4 hours ago (1 children)

Some cafes will do it - not as standard, but a few - maybe try the ones trying to be 1-up from a greasy. https://seahousescafe.co.uk/the-breakfast-menu

As will many hotel breakfasts, there's often little single serving marmite things in with the single serving jam packets. I'd say about half the hotels i've stayed in with decent cooked breakfast have had it on offer.

I've also seen it in little roadside food van / trailer type things too.

Anyway, you want sainsbury's yeast extract instead of marmite, it's way gloopier and nicer tasting.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 hour ago

sainsbury’s yeast extract

It just sounds wrong but I'll be on the lookout

[–] [email protected] 6 points 15 hours ago (1 children)

Are hotels in the UK not equipped with toasters?

[–] [email protected] 5 points 13 hours ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 10 points 9 hours ago (1 children)

You’re supposed to wash it out after you shit in it

[–] [email protected] 1 points 5 hours ago

I would never. The next guest would want to savor my peaty aroma and be awed.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 12 hours ago

you love the sweet plastic taste and you know it!

[–] [email protected] 13 points 16 hours ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 2 points 4 hours ago

The Marmite causes the eggs to hatch in your tummy πŸ€—

[–] [email protected] 5 points 17 hours ago (2 children)
  1. Chip Butty
  2. Crisp Sandwich made with Sandwich Spread.
[–] [email protected] 2 points 10 hours ago

I had a fish finger sandwich for lunch in a pub near Inverness last month, it was delicious.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 12 hours ago

horrific, you get a pass

[–] [email protected] 3 points 18 hours ago

Food I want to eat

[–] [email protected] 3 points 18 hours ago (2 children)

Brother, we have all of those ingredients everywhere. We have a little British store run by expats who could get whatever packaged crumpet you use. Shit, I can make a batch of crumpets in about 15 minutes.

It's not like a crazy recipe that needs balanced flavors to be done right. Like I've never had a good poutine outside of Quebec. It's always sad beige gravy with the wrong seasonings or mozzarella or frozen fries or all of the above. It is never right.

What we can also talk about is local places making local dishes but they do it wrong and cheap or "good enough" and people come from abroad and try the dishes and think they're mid because they went to the wrong place.

TL;DR: I love poutine.

/Rant

[–] [email protected] 1 points 15 hours ago (1 children)

I had poutine at random place in Edinburgh which a Canadian friend said was the best poutine he'd had outside of Quebec. "Still shit though", in comparison to in Quebec

[–] [email protected] 1 points 10 hours ago

Down the Hatch?

[–] [email protected] 5 points 18 hours ago

It's not like a crazy recipe that needs balanced flavors to be done right.

We're talking British cuisine here

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