this post was submitted on 19 Feb 2024
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[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 year ago

I would survive just fine as long as you follow my instructions. I can live on a diet of 90% hay with a small amount of species appropriate pellets and a salad every day. I am going to need a lot of room to play and shouldn't be confined to a small cage. At minimum I need an exercise pen as my home base with at least 6 hours so I can run around the house and binky. I should have a box to hide in because I'm easily frightened and I would live underground in the wild. I will do better if you keep my water in a bowl but by all means put it in a bottle if i prefer that. It's better for me to stay hydrated than to try to exist within some ideal that doesn't work for me.

And for the love of God it's a myth that I don't need medical care! I have a very sensitive digestive system and it's a critical emergency if I don't eat for more than a few hours or if my eating slows and my poops get small. So many people say their lagomorphlecture just died with no warning but if they knew what the warnings were and took them to get treatment they would be ok.

I should definitely be soayed or neutered regardless of your society's beliefs about that. Uterine and testicular cancer are very common and I'm unlikely to live past 6bor 7 years old if you don't get me fixed.

I am a very social creature and I should be kept with a bonded mate. If I lose my mate I will become depressed and need either a new lagomorphlecture to keep me company or a lot of your time to help me get through it. It can help me accept the loss if you show me the body of my mate so I can understand and accept that they are gone.

I will provide you with further instructions for my care later on.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago (1 children)
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[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

At least I'll never go hungry, but eventually I'll get sick of myself.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago

Very bad. I'll I've got is a really gross bagel

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 year ago (1 children)

My mighty herd will protect me! 🐐

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[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

I am me. Nothing changes, all is well.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Mine is a jolly good lot of fun as I fend off attacks with well-coined analogies.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago

Monté Christo was quite skillful.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Time to stab Polyphemus in the eye and get outta this cave, I reckon.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

Nobody can do that!

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago
[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

Pretty good I think.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago

I got an RC car... At least I'll die having fun.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago
[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago

Not bad at all.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Let loose the flaming giant elephants of war

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago

Praise to Armok, dwarves all kneel!
Praise the God of Blood and Steel!
Drain the River, burn the Wood!
Praise the God of Steel and Blood!

Praise to Armok, dwarves obey!
Praise the God of Rend and Slay!
Smelt the Metal, cut the Gem!
Praise the God of Slay and Rend!

Praise to Armok, dwarves attack!
Praise the God of Shield and Pick!
Strike the foeman! Never yield!
Praise the God of Pick and Shield!

(originally posted)

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 year ago

Well, I guess I will be up all day and night.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago

I'll be just fine.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Im okay with this, whole movies exist with this outcome, good times ahead

[–] [email protected] 18 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago

🎵 beeee bap bap ba da bum, bee bap bap ba da bum 🎶

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago
[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago
[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 year ago

If knowledge is real and can be applied to anything, I guess I'll be alright

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 year ago

Depends on where I live. I'm dead in the coming summer.

[–] [email protected] 33 points 1 year ago
[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago

Ganon with the Morph Ball upgrade would be U N S T O P P A B L E

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago

Link and Shulk, doing it 69 style, would have to be involved.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago

I sell tea, as 418 is a teapot, so I'd say not so bad

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 year ago

Can i manifest it as a super power?

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago

Welp, time to change my diet, as if they didn't have it rough already by being lonely. Sorry little dudes

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago

I can't think of anything more metal than subsisting on arsenic, lead, and belladonna mixtures.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 year ago

Pretty good I think!

[–] [email protected] 24 points 1 year ago

Finally, my time to shine.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 year ago

I guess something is better than nothing.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago

I gotta eat pineapples

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago

I have to either rob or digitally pleasure someone named Cooper

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Uh oh...but if taken literally like the idea my best friend had when we were on acid and whip its, could be delectable. I'm willing to take the risk.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago
[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago

I spelt mine wrong.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago

We musn't speak of him. He is legend.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago

I'm a lazy boy there's no doubt about it Might take a miracle to get me started

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 year ago

Well I won't have any problems with doctors I suppose

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