Ask Lemmy

So many things! But mostly that I have a lot of wonderful friends. I was a pretty lonely child, awkward and uncool.

That I'm on a computer programming all day for my job.

That I'm on a computer programming all night for fun.

That I rarely play video games anymore.

How much I've improved with my art.

that i'm not a teacher and that i don't read as much book as i used to and should

Probably that I’m alive?

I already dealt with (undiagnosed) chronic depression by 10. The first time I thought about killing myself I don’t think I even knew the word “suicide.” I also had an overwhelming sense that I wouldn’t live past 30. That might not have started until I was 11 or 12, but I think it was there when I was younger.

Weirdly my mom also had an overwhelming sense that she would lose me at a young age from the day I was born, which she didn’t have with my older sister.

Well, I’m past 30 now. My love of people in my life has kept the suicidal ideation to only that. While I still have chronic depression, I’ve learned to manage it better over the years and medication helps.

I genuinely don’t know why I was depressed or had suicidal thoughts that young. I didn’t have a traumatic home or childhood. My parents worked a lot but loved me and my sister without question. We didn’t have a lot of money but always had enough food. I loved school and had great teachers. I wasn’t sexually assaulted before I was 10 (I think I was 12 the first time). I don’t know and that bothers me.

ETA: I guess I was bullied at school by 10, so maybe that accounts for it?

this is a great question. for me, it would be going to bed a responsible time.

I actually had that thought yesterday. my younger self would be so sad about me cutting out precious video game time, but I literally can't focus on my job if I get tired halfway through the day.

but my younger self would not understand how lucky my life currently is, and that "sacrifices" need to be made to do the best that I can in life since many people do not have the opportunities I have. I got very lucky.

That I hate television and actually enjoy working. Jobs suck, "work" sucks, but getting things done around the house or finishing a project or even just getting into a flow on a task is rewarding. 10 year old me would ask, "What happened to us?!" But I guess I enjoyed it then, too. I just defined it differently. Building with Lego for hours in my room, being creative. I didn't define that as work until my adult hobbies expanded into making things with my hands and I had real world job experience.

That at 47 the hardest thing in life was keeping relationships. Everything else is a cakewalk.

That I am a girl now. Seems to be a common pattern şn the comment section 💀

That I work with metal forming headed towards engineering instead of woodworking with a goal of fine joinery.

Probably that I haven't killed myself yet. That's not a joke.

That I didn’t grow up to be Indiana Jones

I finally bought that Gameboy advance

Growing up poor in the suburbs, now living on an old farm in the middle of nowhere, Denmark, growing my own weed, a beautiful wife, have chickens, 2 cats and a dog, my younger self would be flabbergasted. Mostly because I was "destined" to have my life fucked, but I overcame obstacles that surprised my childhood friends. Had one say at my wedding "You were the last person I thought would make it".

Gotta be proud of what I've accomplished.

I'm impressed with the amount of people who can actually remember what they were like as a 10 year old. I've got some pictures n' shit of myself from back then, but honestly that might as well be a completely different person, and I can't tell you jack about what's going through their head.

10 year old me didn't have much expectations about the future but I'd say 15 year old me would be most surprised about the fact that I have a girlfriend. If you were to then tell me that not only do I have a girlfriend but I also have a house and the truck I've always wanted it would literally blow his mind.

Why the fuck do you have so many kids?

That I'm not disappointed in him.

You see that pretty girl who lets you touch her? That's your wife.

See those kids - they are yours. That one can go hunting and will get more girls than you ever will, that one is as kind and caring as you can get, and that one will do dumb shit with you.

I sat here for 10 minutes trying to think of an answer. I genuinely have nothing. I was pretty depressed as a 10 year old so honestly? Probably that I'm still alive. My life being a mess and hating near everything in it? I always thought that was going to happen.

How amazing computer games look now.

I mean, I'm impressed now, on behalf of ten year old me I suppose.

Well I did write down that I was going to win a billion money and move to the moon. I have much less faith in gambling now though.