Asklemmy

physically or emotionally?

Parents told me I'm the cause of all their problems.

Made an awkward turn while playing and had a knee subluxation. Brief agony until I "popped" it back in and insisted I was fine. Limped around for the rest of the day, hurt for the rest of the week. For several years after, it would randomly happen again, though less severe, quicker to recover, and less frequent between incidents. Didn't bother to get it checked out since I heard any significant knee surgery would take me out of commission for some months. I'm still not sure if I'm completely over it yet. God forbid it happens to me on the stairs

Tried to stop a garage door of close up and broke my arm.

I placed my entire hand on a hot iron. For more than a few seconds - super dumb and ignorant.

Ended up having my entire hand wrapped in bamdages.

Worst I hurt myself: Older, much larger cousin broke my leg by landing on it in a bouncy castle.

Injury that pissed me off the most: At 13, I loved jiujitsu and rock climbing above all else. At my last jiujitsu class before going to California to, among other things, go bouldering in Joshua Tree, I sliced my heel badly on the metal bottom of the dojo door that had about an inch and a half of clearance from the floor.

Shoes in general, let alone those super-tight climbing shoes, were out of the question for two weeks. I'm still mad. Of all the ways I could've got hurt, it was the fucking door on the way out that took me down.

Take your pick:

3 years old I took a corner to fast at Mervins and almost took out my right eye on a glass shelf, 2 stitches.

6 years old I tried to do a backwards wheelie on my bike by jamming my foot in the front fork… while going down hill and carrying a load of oranges in my shirt. Went right over the handlebars, came to a stop on my chin. 13 stitches.

[…] I really wanted a broken arm, so people could sign my cast, but I never quite managed to break anything.

Went over a jump in my bike (not motorized). Got a nice amount of air time. Lost the bike. Bike went side ways. I was spread eagle over the bike. My nuts hit the something hard.

My chest hit the handle bars. Caved the chest a bit.

I broke my wrist sledding in the winter. Because I grew up in a rural area I had to wait 8 hours for a surgeon to come to the hospital I went to.

My parents had a caravan when I was like 4 years old. Ran into it full speed, hit my head hard. I had an anger attack because blood was coming out of my head, my parents got a heart attack because of all the blood.

Another one would be when I found out I needed glasses. At school, at the gym class, we were playing around as a warming up.

I ran after a ball, and hit one of those horizontal bars you can do tricks on. Full speed, nose first. That hurt for a couple of days. Spent the rest of the class holding my nose closed because I was bleeding a lot.

As a kid our alley in back was where all the neighborhood kids played. We all decided it was race time. Most of us were on bikes but I happened to have my roller blades on.

Important detail is that there was a pretty steep slope from one end of the alley to the bottom before it leveled out halfway down. Of course we start at the top, everyone's getting speed and I'm focused so I don't get the wobbles. I'm actually ahead and it's me a Jorge going neck and neck until I hit a rock at the bottom.

I tucked and rolled (apparently about 5 times) before I land on my back and slide for another 15 feet.

Maybe it was bad enough for the ER but in that day and with my family we treated it at home if it wasn't a broken bone or head wound. So I laid belly down on the couch while my Pops picked gravel out of my back and blotted me with peroxide and anticeptic. Overall it wasn't as bad as some of my brothers' accidents but it looked pretty gnarly.

I could have won dammit

Absolutely lame, but age 12 I remember the worst most intense pain I ever felt was sitting on my own thumb after pulling a wooden stool towards me - crushed it right on the edge corner and it was so intense.

Way more painful than the time I got a drawing pin (thumbtack) half embedded in my heel, impaled my wrist on a set square, or winded myself falling chest-first off a skateboard.

I've been pretty lucky/sensible

Came off my bike when I was about 6 or 7, scratched my elbow...not stitches bad but bad enough. Still got the scar.

Let's see...

• Accidentally stapled my thumb before school. Had to remove it before I left.
• Twisted my ankle from jumping off the swings and not landing correctly.
• Braked too hard on a wet, wooden surface on my bike and flew off it (I do mean flew, it was quite a few feet horizontally, and about 2 feet vertically in the air.)
• Playing catch with my father and got hit about an inch from my testicles. Thankfully no damage to them, but it hurt about as bad as you can imagine.

Surprisingly, no bones were broken, and I wasn't an outdoorsy kid either.

I once tried to jump over a big garbage container that was, ehhm.. how do i put it? It was sort of under ground, but with no roof next to a staircase. (It was build in a small hill, sort of) But i missed it and fell into it. My whole back was one big scraping wound. Very painful for weeks :(

I was skating at the local ice rink, and tripped. I think it was an Olympic-sized rink, but that might have been the pool... it was pretty big, anyway. I bounced my head off the ice so hard I saw blue and red fireworks (only time that's ever happened to me), and slid half the length of the rink on my face wherein I crashed into the barrier. That shit hurt, I still remember it vividly 30 years later, but luckily nothing broken. My mum was simultaneously aghast, and relieved and amazed I wasn't more injured. She was convinced I'd have fractured something in my face when she saw me fall.

While chasing around the house I tripped over a bed board and slid my upper lip on a carpet.

A strip of skin down from the base of the nose to my lip was gone. Everyone freaked out about me disfiguring myself.

I picked at it, of course, 25 years later there's no trace of it. Kids heal fast.

I was sheltered I think, considering some other injuries here.

I was playing cricket in the driveway with some neighbour-friends. There were three of us and each took turns to be bowler, batter, and fielder.

As an aside, I was quite a good cricketer when I was young and was eager to show my skills to my friends so when the ball was hit high and far over my head I ran as fast as I could to catch it.

I kept my eyes on the ball, head turned over my shoulder, impossible to see anything in front of me. After a second or three, I looked forward to get my bearings and as soon as I did the back of an old, metal bakkie (pickup truck I suppose) appeared out of nowhere.

I ran straight into it, face first. I remember looking down, through tears, at my hands where the blood pouring out of my mouth and pooling in my hands. The blood was flecked with a curious white substance that I later found out was half of my front tooth reduced to a fine powder.

Hard to rank them. When I was about 9 yrs old and cut of my left index finger with a leather scissor. Or when I flew over the top of a bike, down a steep road, and the asphalt took of all the skin of my right hand, and I got a wound right beneath my nose that still, 35 yrs later, looks like a booger when it's cold. Or maybe when I was climbing around big farm machines and jumped from one to the other, and I slipped, and punched a hole in my shin with a metal corner. The shin didn't break, just got a hole, and it hurt like hell...

There's plenty more. But my guess is my finger, since the doctor messed up the operation, and I had to have 3 surgeries - and it still didn't work properly after that.

To any prospective and new parents stumbling onto this thread: Turn back. NOW.

This thread will give you nightmare fuel. You have been warned.

what was your mom doing with a pot of ants

Around primary school, I got two scars on my chin, on the same place, because I did not have the reflex to put my hands in front of me when falling on my face. Both times I fell face-first on a stone floor.

And I once fell over backwards and broke my arm, because I was laughing so hard.

As a teenager I also broke my nose in 38 pieces because of that lack of basic reflexes + causing a traffic accident due to being reckless and stupid.

Kids, don't go over red lights, even if you think there is no car coming. Especially not when it is getting dark and you got headphones with music on.

Went sailing for a day without any shirt on. Worst sunburn ever. Luckily we had to practice for a musical at school where we would put our arms around eachother at some point, i skipped that part for a bit.

Slipped getting out of the bath when I was about 12. My foot hit one of the metal poles supporting the sink, with my little toe going one side and the rest of my foot the other. My foot tore on impact, leaving my little toe hanging off.

I bandaged it up, and kept changing the bandage when it was soaked through with blood and it eventually stopped bleeding. I have a scar on my foot, but other than that no lasting damage.

Launched the biggest rock I could lift with my little 6 year old arms above my head in a completely vertical trajectory for reasons unknown. I don't remember the rest, but my dad took me to the ER and was really nervous because he thought they'd accuse him of violence or something. He just turned around for five seconds and I was a stupid kid throwing rocks at tin cans for fun.

Edit: clarity

Concussion at an ice skating rink.

Broke my elbow twice: one time at like 7 sliding down a hill and one time at like 13 doing a overhead kick playing soccer. Slit the skin of my head open at 8 after being pushed by a classmate against the base of a decorated column. Lot of blood, many stitches.

1970s, uk, aged around 4 or 5, walking down the stairs carrying a glass when I tripped, Cut my right hand up pretty bad. My mum wrapped my hand in a towel and rushed me to a nearby army base where the medic did an effective but clumsy job of stitching me up - I still have a big scar but no movement damage.

I have no memory of it, but my father certainly does. When he came home from work to find the house with its doors wide open, blood everywhere, and nobody around, he kind of freaked out.