Whats_your_reasoning

There’s a guy on our dog walking route that put up several Trump flags last year. My wife and I actually wound up having an interaction with him because he was spying on us through his cameras and got mad that we referred to the flags as embarrassing and said that Trumpism was a cult.

By mid-April, he’d pulled down all the flagpoles and didn’t even take the flags off them, just laid the poles with flags wrapped around them in the dirt by his driveway.

In May I actually talked with him. Initially I had no intention of trying to be nice to him - he just had done something sort of shitty a few days before (encouraging his dog to bark at our dogs). I was going to be like “Look, if you wanna call me gay slurs over your ring camera, that’s fine, but don’t encourage your dog to be hostile to mine.”
But somehow he tied his dog to military service, and while I was fully prepared to connect the lack of a veteran license plate to his statement to call him a liar and a Reddit ninja, he fielded the license plate question and said that he’d suffered a TBI that resulted in an appreciable percentage of brain dying, and that made him unable to be rational when he felt any sort of threat or insult. So he didn’t use the military plates, because he’d had negative experiences with motorists while using them.
I don’t know if I believe that - it seems dumb on the part of the other motorists. But I’m not willing to keep pressing for the sake of picking a fight. I’ll throw a barb, but not over-extend myself. It’s just not worth it.
So I listened, and we chatted - for like an hour and a half. My wife left after a few minutes with the dogs. We talked about politics, the world, our community, and how fucked everything is. He supported Trump because of the 2016 (Obama) economy. He believes in women’s rights. He is conservative, anti-immigrant, and believes in stronger policing. I told him I believe in increased social support, so folks like him can get out of the VA benefits trap. I told him I think the way to stronger communities is through stronger schools and increased civic engagement - more pride, less punishment. He even asked if we’d be willing to help train his dog better, because he notices that ours don’t bark at other dogs, and don’t pull on their leads. I told him I’d have to think about it, and ask my wife, since she’s the one who really had the patience to get our dogs where they are.

We parted - not as friends - but certainly not as enemies. Just - neighbors with a better understanding of each other.

Before I start, I would like to remind those coming from All that you are in an ADHD community. Our "normal" may not look like your "normal," and by being here you might be exposed to new perspectives. Please be respectful.

To "Pin" an Idea

I've brought this concept up in various comments here and there, but I figured the topic deserved its own post. Like many of you, my in-person conversations tend to branch out. My "train of thought" gets derailed frequently, and if I'm talking with neurodivergent friends, our thoughts tend to scatter like dandelion seeds in the wind.

Then one day, I had a friend who started saying, "I'm putting a pin in that," during our conversations. What they meant was that they had a tangential thought that they wanted to share, but they didn't want to throw me off what I was saying. Mentioning that there was a "pin" not only helped them remember that they wanted to share something, but informed me that there was more they wanted to say - in case they forgot the pin, I might still remember. In this way, the "pin" acted as a verbal post-it note when we were unable to actually write things down.

Since then, I've adopted the idea and found it helps cut down on a lot of frustration. I've shared it with other friends, and it's even evolved for us, going from a mere mentioning of "a pin," but to "pinning" specific words that would help conjure the specific thought we want to recall.

For example
Say one person is telling a story about taking their dog to the beach. The idea of the beach makes you think of crabs, which reminds you of a funny story revolving around hermit crabs you used to have. So you might put your hand up, wait for a pause, and say, "I want to put a 'pin' on the word 'hermit crabs.' I have a story to share afterwards," and let the previous conversation resume. Having "pinned" a word that points straight to the idea you want to share, you have a metaphorical "scaffolding" to hold your thought onto, making the transition between topics go more smoothly.

In my experience so far, this has not only helped my friends and me to finally finish more of our stories successfully, but we've also become more mindful of each other during conversations. It's easier to pay attention to a speaker when you're not desperately trying to hold onto a thought that, like a balloon on a windy day, constantly attempts to escape from your grasp. By making a "pin," now everyone in the conversation has a hand on the balloon string - allowing you to focus on the moment more without worrying about your thought flying away.

It may take practice to get into the habit, but it's been worth it for me. Anyway, I just wanted to share this technique. Hopefully someone finds it useful. 🙂

President Donald Trump revealed on Thursday at the National Prayer Breakfast an executive order instructing Attorney General Pam Bondi to seek out and prosecute "anti-Christian bias."

"To confront such weaponization and religious persecution, today I'm signing an executive order to make our Attorney General, who's a great person — she's going to be a great Attorney General — Pam Bondi the head of a task force, brand new, to eradicate anti-Christian bias," Trump said. "About time, right? Anti-Christian bias. Yeah, never heard of that one before, right?"

"So many times you hear, but you don't hear the anti-Christian bias," he continued. "The mission of this task force will be to immediately halt all forms of anti-Christian targeting and discrimination within the federal government, including at the DOJ, which was absolutely terrible."

Trump suggested the FBI and IRS were "terrible" for targeting Christians.

"In addition, the task force will work to fully prosecute anti-Christian violence and vandalism in our society and to move heaven and earth to defend the rights of Christians and religious believers nationwide," he added. "You've never had that before, but this is a very powerful document I'm signing."

"You get it now. First time you've had it. If we don't have religious liberty, then we don't have a free country. We probably don't even have a country."

I love finding new special interests, but the accompanying sleep-deprivation is real.

I was kicked off Medicaid at the start of this year and subsequently lost access to my ADHD and depression medication. In February, I moved to a new area and got a new job, but had to wait several months until I qualified for health insurance through it.

After that point, I had to wait for a weekday when I wasn't working and when I had the mental capacity to tolerate back-to-back disappointing phone calls... all without medication that would make the process significantly easier to tolerate. These are only the calls I've made today.

Finally, FINALLY, I have an intake appointment scheduled.

It's absolutely shameful how much a struggling person is expected to do in order to access basic mental health care.