Ask Lemmy

You are two separate people, so you can do two separate things.

Yay freedom.

This is easy. Whoever's doing the cooking does it their own way. If you don't like it, then you do the cooking so it can be done your way.

Quite frequently I have no energy. But me and my husband need to eat. So premade it is. When I do have energy? I'll cook, bake, from scratch! And if I have a lot off energy, maybe I'll premake something and freeze it, like ravioli or a lasagna.

Its all a very complex equation of quality vs additives vs effort vs cost vs time vs storability vs fridge life vs convenience.

Some stuff is just too much or too little of some of them.

I think the one who cooks should do things their way and the others should not interfere unless there's some kind of medical concern.

Sometimes I don't have the motivation to cook, sometimes I do. Sometimes I have the motivation to get shit done that isn't in the kitchen. Throwing a pizza in the oven can buy me an extra hour of working on something else because I don't have to come in early to wash up, prep, cook, then wash the damn dishes.

Have both options available.

I have two suggestions: homemade pre-made, and why not both.

You can pre-make things like pancake mix, taco seasoning, pasta sauce seasoning, etc. write any instructions on the ziplock bag or container.

Instant items from a box or bag can usually be dressed up with fresh foods. If she’s cooking then offer to prep fresh items.

Also, respect that some people simple have no patience for cooking and don’t want to learn any. Communicate with each other to understand how to make it work.

If a lasagna is more effort than you want to put in, there are lots of recipes for “deconstructed” lasagna, so you can make it yourself much easier!

If you take the time to make food, especially smelling it as it cooks, it gives your body time to get excited about it and improves digestion.

I try to make everything from scratch, but sometimes I make pre made when I know I'm avoiding eating because I don't feel like cooking. If I make pre made though, I'll always add something to it to bulk it out. Ramen? Handfuls of frozen veg. Frozen pizza? Slap mushrooms, peppers, onions on top. Pasta sauce? Spinach, homemade stock, and carrots.

To me, its about health. I know processed food isn't healthy, so I want to mitigate the damage.

Personally, as with a lot of the comments, I'm in the food-prep and make it yourself crowd.

I found a book that dives into the details of when it is and isn't worth making things from scratch.

It's called Make the Bread, Buy the Butter.

Honestly, I haven't read it yet. I bought it and let my mom borrow it immediately, but when I get it back I think it will an interesting read.

Pro tip, make the premade stuff. Make like a gallon of pasta sauce and freeze/can it all. Make like 5 pounds of meatballs and freeze them.

I like to make my pasta sauce when I can, from tomatoes. If you are a fast chopper, it goes by really quickly. Super thin slice it, add some diced enough, maybe some shredded carrot and celery, add some crushed garlic, salt, pepper and some seasonings. In around an hour or so you will have made a bunch of it.

Also look for professional advice for canning, cause idk if my way is the safest. I boil some water in the can in the microwave, dump it then add the pasta sauce, and close it really tight with an oven mitt.

I also grind my own meat, with just a knife. Dice the meat into small cubes and mince it for a while. I do it until it can form a cohesive meatball. Also consider what you'll use it for, if its just being tossed in a bolognese sauce, it doesn't need to be so fine.

You can make pizzas ahead of time too, roll the dough, add marinara, mozzarella and wrap it in foil and put it in the freezer.

I make my own stock too. I'll collect bones and veggie scraps in a freezer bag, and when it's full, I dump it in a slow cooker, set it and forget it. The store bought stuff is basically just water. If it's tasteless, it's baseless.

I've also frozen lasagna portions too, fully cooked. If raw its impossible to cook them without completely de-thawing them.

I also have a box of instant cake batter I mixed together myself. It's like a year old but it's still not terrible!

Having a frozen lasagne is better than taking the full effort when...

Last month i made two lasagnas in one day and had none of it. I cut them up in pieces and froze them into 24 pieces. Now we have home made lasagna for those days where we dont feel like cooking dinner. It really does not need to take too much time and if you enjoy it, there is no need to not do it.

I don't know if it's just where I am in life but I... I just can't be fucked to do stuff man, I'm too ADHD, depressed, autistic, busy, stressed, whatever I don't know.

I buy canned tomato sauce from Sam's Club and meatballs. It's actually reasonably good sauce, they usually have some decent pasta on offer of some variety. That's about as much as you can really ask of me at this point in my life.

My wife is definitely team 'make it from scratch'.

She is also a very slow cook. We also have an infant that is currently taking up 110% of our time.

It's hard for me to justify spending two hours a night preparing a lunch for the next day. She likes to sleep in, so I never get to eat it fresh.. it's always leftovers.

I don't mind cooking something fresh for lunch or dinner, but I'll do something that takes 20 minutes of prep and then take care of itself on the stove or in the oven. Chilli, pot roast, or a casserole.

I think frozen dinners probably have a better balance of protein/carbs/veg than either of us makes, and at half the price.

Depends on difficulty. I make most things. but a labor-intensive dish like lasagna I'm happy to buy frozen.

Cooking from scratch is excellent... But there's also an extreme for how far you consider "cooking from scratch" to actually be "from scratch"... For Example: https://www.instagram.com/reel/C76cACZB0oq/

Do you milk the cows yourself? Churn the butter? Etc.

Your way is always going to be significantly healthier. Among other issues I think you'll find eating food your wife prefers puts you both well over the recommended sodium intake for a day. This is likely to shorten your life due to heart health.

The healthiest way to shop is to stick to the outside of the super market and skip the packaged foods in the middle.

Nostalgia or not, eating packaged food to often is very unhealthy. Maybe broach it with your wife and ask her if you can satiate her nostalgia in moderation. Having something she really loves out of a package only once or twice a week.

I'd call what you're doing "cooking".

I'd call what she's doing "not cooking".

I would rather cook because I like the taste much, much more. Almost all frozen stuff is just flavorless to me so I end up having to doctor it up anyway. It’s easier for me to just start from scratch unless it’s something that’s a giant pain.

I also worked as a cook when I was young so the effort/time is probably a bit less for me since I can do the food prep stuff quickly and without much mental effort. When I chop vegetables, my brain basically does it on autopilot.

Most of the time I wish the nutrients would just enter my system without me ever having to think or do anything about it. So I get as close to that as possible.