Asklemmy

I sort of see the appeal of having kids, but I can barely keep things together for myself. There's no way I can support myself and kids. Even with my boyfriends income and mine, it's just not realistic.

I wish we had. I'm regretting it more as I get older.

It sucks. I don’t have children because I’m barely functional. Can barely keep a roof over my own head, let alone maintain a romantic relationship.

I’ve wanted kids for a long time, but the only relationship that showed promise of that ended with a bunch of cheating and abuse. I eventually realized even if I was willing to put up with it, I couldn’t subject my kids to having her as a mother.

So I’m going on 42 and don’t know if I’m gonna make it.

Great!

I'm in way over my head as it is. I can't even imagine what it would be like having to be responsible for some gremlins, as well. We do not even dare get a cat (or two - you should always get two so they're not lonely) for the same reason. Good thing my SO sees it exactly the same way. We're both glad we didn't have children.

I love it but even in high school, I knew I didn’t want kids. People told me seeing my friends have kids would cause me to change my mind but it only reinforced my preference. Having kids is a huge amount of work and commitment (not to mention the expense). I love to travel and I’ve been able to go to places and do things you can’t (or just wouldn’t want to) do with kids. I also like that I was able to take risks with my career. It’s much easier to start a business or join an early stage company or whatever if you don’t need the stability kids need.

So, for me, it’s amazing. I feel for people who want kids but never had them, though. I know a few and they’re happy — freedom is a nice consolation prize — but it wasn’t their dream.

It’s good. Don’t have to worry about paying for any of it.

Elementary school

Middle school

High school

College

Helping out after they finish college and haven’t found a job

All the stuff during the summer

Not having to hear “ but why?!” Every ten seconds

Not having to worry about how they’ll survive in this fucked up world.

Ask again in a decade and some. Me and my gf really do not want kids

Hopefully no different from life now.

It's awesome. Sure, I have moments in life that suck regardless, but in those moments I always think to myself "Wow, this would be even worse if I had kids."

Amazing. I'm not willing to exercise the permanent sacrifices that having kids entails.

Just turned 50. Was childless by choice. But I Got custody of my 12 year old niece two years ago. (Very small family and There was no one else to take her.). I love her but I do miss my adult freedom.

Fine. Sometimes sad. I dated someone with a kid for a while and the good parts were good. But now I'm old so it's kind of moot.

No ragrets.

I wanted kids when I was younger, but wasn't ready to give up my freedom. Once I was ready for kids the world (and the future in particular) looks so bleak that it doesn't seem fair to the theoretical kiddo to say 'hey, here's a dumpster fire - good luck'. Instead I babysit for my friends and family, spoil the kids around me, and sleep in on the weekend. I also have more time for activism and trying to ensure a brighter future for kiddos.

No regrets.

Honestly it kind of sucks.

I always wanted a kid but it requires a partner who is able to be a parent and I have never had such a partner.

I had a pretty fucked up childhood and I wanted someone who could be a good mother to a child and everyone I've dated who had the ability to be a good mother was not capable of giving birth for one reason or another and everyone I've dated who's capable of giving birth was not capable of being a good mother for one reason or another.

I know it's not too late for me but it's getting pretty damn close.

I have a big chosen family, including people who feel like children, and even grandchildren. I don't believe that a blood relation would make that any richer an experience for me.

Good, made a decision decades ago to have a vasectomy as there are way to many people in the world and misquoting Thoreau, what use a kid if no livable planet to raise them on ?

I always felt if the need to be a parent overwhelmed, I could adopt any number of abandoned kids.

I like kids but I'd fell way to guilty about having any. Not having them also let me retire at 35 and pursue my own interests, I'm now 58.

Joyful, peaceful, content, fulfilled, educated, energetic, with a diverse set of wonderful friends, and a fun, flexible lifestyle. I retired early and wake up every day (whenever I feel like waking up) in a place I love. I laugh a lot and have a close “chosen family” who always has each other’s back. I wouldn’t trade it for the world.

You could really ask this question of anyone about anything. There will always be substantial differences between one person's life and another. Having had children doesn't necessarily denote that difference, even less so for men as some fathers don't stick around and instead go live their own lives seemingly uninterrupted.

But think of how many things people sink great amounts of time and effort into; gambling, becoming a practicing doctor, hedge fund trading, starting a charity, programming... Those people will probably all have large amounts of time devoted to those things.

Of course there'll be many things that don't compare, and some that do... Then you must also factor in that it's a trauma for some people. Some people end up not liking their children, kicking them out, disconnecting.

Human nature is hugely variable. What's it like being a good person? What's it like being rich? What's it like being homeless and a drug addict? What's ut like being happy? What's it like in prison? What's it like as mayor? Or psychiatrist? Or teacher?

What's it like not like doing any of the things mentioned here? Well, that question, your post, is really about you, isn't it? It's about you asking others "what would my life be if I didn't, or don't have kids?"

So, why are you asking?

Seriously like the most obvious fucking life hack.

Also, it's generally super weird how everyone tries really hard to convince you that you are wrong about it. Like I could take all of the collective time people have spent trying to give me unsolicited input on some other random topic, and it wouldn't even add up to a tenth of the time I've spent on the "why don't you want kids?" Conversation. I'm sorry but that's sus as fuck. Like some actual brain slug shit.

No regrets

Feels like the best decision I ever made.

Pretty great. I have money and free time.