OMG! MARY WAS THE SERPENT IN THE TREE! IT SHOULD'VE BEEN MEEEEEEEE!
this post was submitted on 17 Feb 2024
8 points (100.0% liked)
Atheist Memes
5554 readers
695 users here now
About
A community for the most based memes from atheists, agnostics, antitheists, and skeptics.
Rules
-
No Pro-Religious or Anti-Atheist Content.
-
No Unrelated Content. All posts must be memes related to the topic of atheism and/or religion.
-
No bigotry.
-
Attack ideas not people.
-
Spammers and trolls will be instantly banned no exceptions.
-
No False Reporting
-
NSFW posts must be marked as such.
Resources
International Suicide Hotlines
Non Religious Organizations
Freedom From Religion Foundation
Ex-theist Communities
Other Similar Communities
founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
Since she was supposedly human, the only X chromosomes theory is the most solid. Unless the holy ghost was not so ghost and had a more material way to make mary pregnant.
Is the space pope reptilian?
So... More credibility for raptor Jesus, I see
yeah well, still, fuck Ken ham.
Thing is... God's spunk is so mighty, it can get you pregnant through the back door, baby.
Wtf am I reading
Something that'd give some creationists a massive brain hemorrhage
Cold hard facts.
the end lmao
btw artificial insemination still keep the person "virgin"?, if so, god may have did that i guess lol
A lot of fun is had among Catholic teens who get sloppy with their outercourse, and boyfriend's sperm navigates from the inner labia down through the canal and into the uterus.
Then the girl and her doctor get to have giggles over an intact corona and an actively progressing pregnancy.
I'm very sorry, but the first thought that popped into my head is of Mary opening up, going "alright if you get it in this time it's 50 points!".
"He shoots he scores!"
I can't imagine they'd have turkey basters in those days.
How do they get their own story wrong? His mom wasn't the virgin, he had at least one sibling. It's her that was born of a virgin, in other words jebus' granny was supernaturally told to gfy and did it so well she's made a clone called Mary.
That’s not what Catholics or orthodoxes believe and considering it’s hard to find a take on Christianity that isn’t held by any Protestant group I’m not likely to believe any of them as the word on Christianity.
Catholic doctrine is that Mary was a virgin who today we would consider a child/adolescent who was married but not consummated with a laborer descendant of David. She was asked by an Angel to bear Jesus and accepted without hesitation. And she remained a virgin until she ascended to heaven body and soul at the end of her life.
Her pregnancy came through the Holy Spirit. She was not married at the time and Joseph wanted to leave her when he heard she's pregnant (but an angel explained to him in a dream what is going on). That's the story according to the Bible, so not sure what you're talking about.
Literally never heard of this. Besides, "their story" is exactly that. The story they made up/went with.
were that version come from?
"Popular devotion and Ineffabilis Deus
The eventual creation of the dogma was due more to popular devotion than scholarship.[34] The Immaculate Conception became a popular subject in literature and art,[6] and some devotees went so far as to hold that Anne had conceived Mary by kissing her husband Joachim, and that Anne's father and grandmother had likewise been conceived without sexual intercourse, although Bridget of Sweden (c. 1303–1373) told how Mary herself had revealed to her that Anne and Joachim conceived their daughter through a sexual union which was sinless because it was pure and free of sexual lust.[35]"
It's the "original" that people misunderstand repeatedly to the point they think it's a different story.
I mean at this point you guys are arguing which Harry Potter x Twilight furry crossover fanfic is more realistic so... knock yourselves out?
That's exactly why I didn't respond to anyone else here. 🤣
that last comment makes me lol. literally any distantly possible alternative to a character being queer.
Its apologetics 101. Start with the presupposition that the bible is correct, then find any way to make it not conflict with itself or with observations. Mary was a virgin, Jesus is male, only lizards can do that, the Bible doesn’t say she wasn’t a lizard, and yay we did an apologetics!
Wouldn't the Y chromosome come from God, and that's where Jesus inherited this magic from?
Although Mary just went straight to heaven without dying, so maybe she had some magic in her genes...
All I know is the earth is definitely older than the sun.
according to what i've heard when i was a kid, Mary birth was a miracle, her parents were to old or something and she was born without the original sin
Fun fact, i was born with an original cos
Yeah, I believe she is the "immaculate conception"
Good ol' catholic origin stories.
Maybe Jesus was really bitten by a radioactive god?
So only people with turner syndrome should be pope. Got it.
growing up in that time with Turner syndrome would have made for a very empathetic individual, and could very well have been the lynch pin to her teachings.
Tina Turner can too, if she asks nicely.
What about Timmy Turner?
I feel like having fairy god parents would make pope duties a lot easier. Make his blessings a bit more potent.
Ok, him, Tina Turner and Detective Scott Turner of & Hooch fame, but no more! Under no circumstances must Ted Turner or anyone related to him be allowed to pope around.
Trans Jesus is canon ✨🏳️⚧️