Asklemmy

No.

There's no place in reality that I can feel safe or comfortable. Anywhere that there is any chance of a human being perceiving me or me perceiving another human being is not a place that I can feel comfortable in. The only refuge that I can find is in books and video games.

My single-player Minecraft skyblock world. Nothing exists there except what I permit.

Sometimes I wish it was available at work.

I have a men’s group that I go to weekly. It’s pretty safe.

Also, I live alone, so I have that as my safe space too.

I’m also bipolar. Therapy is the best solution. Medicine if you need it. No shame with either one, just own it. My brain chemistry is a little bit different and that’s ok. Same for you. Good luck!

Outside of home, no. At home? Just my room where I can relax and snuggle with my stuffed animals on my bed.

I used to spend hours as a teenager underneath my bed or in crawlspaces listening to music and audio books. Do recommend, it got me through. Hang in there, my friend. It really and truly does get better once you have more control over who you spend time around. Until then, take care of yourself as gently as you can. Try to give yourself small kindnesses. You matter a lot.

I put on music, preferably with full coverage noise canceling headphones to block as much outside stimulus as I can. Depending on the mood, I might put on something soothing (listening to Sean Townsend on YouTube right now) or I might go with metal.

If you are in US K-12 education and have a diagnosed condition (depression, anxiety, autism, etc.), you can have your parents request a 504 plan with the school. This requires the school to make reasonable accommodations for someone with a disability or illness that makes it difficult to be successful otherwise. When my daughter was suffering with anxiety and panic attacks, we worked with the administrators to setup safe places where she could go to calm down. The teachers were required to let her go any time she needed a break from the classroom.

Hey there, my personal sanctuary is long decadent bubble baths as a way to just focus on myself. But if bathrooms aren't safe for you, then maybe head to your local library? Most tend to have study rooms you can reserve if you just want some solitude.

Sending you warm helping vibes my friend! ♥ 💕

I have a couple pear trees in my back yard that I planted for my son when we was a baby. When my wife and I had a miscarriage on our 2nd and 3rd try we burried what we could with the pear trees, when out best cat died we burried him there, when my lizard that I've had for 12 years and went through hell with me died we burried her there, when my grandma died I burried some of her trinkets there.

I don't mow much back there and let the grass grow, just keeping the base of the trees clean. Sometimes I like to go sit in that overgrown grass under the trees. It feels safe and comforting, the bugs keep me company, one time I had a garden snake sliver over my shoes and just sit there for a while.

if I'm at work- I go outside to this area that's not very populated. there is this small brick wall I sit on top of that's surrounded by grass and trees. at school- always the library. it's so quiet and most people are in and out quick, it's so nice to just sit and listen to music in the dim lighting. at home? my room is my only safe place, so I decorate it as hyperfixatey with my personality as possible.

I used to make the rounds in the largest libraries around me. I'd find the coziest spot to hide in. At Uni I'd find a good study cubby and hide there. Napping also helps with a nice jacket on.

Honestly, I still use the restroom.

Minecraft works for me. It's been a Minecraft week.

No. Once I went in the forest near my home when I was on the brick of failing my year of study in college (a big deal where I'm from it would set me back a year of life basically and in my circle would have been very hard especially to my parents).

As I grew older, for light stuff I'd gravitate toward videogames and for heavier stuff I'd just be stuck in bed doomscrolling.

I have a closet in my home office. On the floor of it is a sleeping mat and soft blanket as the base, and I have a weighted blanket on top. When I start getting overwhelmed (or just need a quick mid-day nap) I’ll go in there, close the door, and lie down for a bit. It’s isolated and quiet.

When my cat hears that door open she will rush to be included, and will cuddle with me.

The forest ... preferably as far away from any other human as possible.

I have a wilderness cottage, it's not extravagant, just simple and small. I go there alone sometimes just to get away from people and technology.

You make think that you are in the safe spot, but the safe spot is in you. Be at peace with yourself, and the only then can you be at peace with all that is around you.

You should see a therapist if you can! They’ll provide better advice than we can

Library

You can learn to meditate anywhere.

It's like any other skill, you have to put some effort in at the start, but the results are worth it.

You don't need meditation tapes, candles, or anything else.

Find a quiet place, sit down, close your eyes and try to find a quiet spot in your mind. A beach or a mountain top or grandma's kitchen; wherever you feel most serene.

You can just count "one, two one, two" as you breath in and out.

Just try to keep your thoughts quiet for ten seconds to start. Then work up to 30 seconds, and then a minute.

A crowd where you can be one of many so noone pays attention to you. In my school there was always a huge line in the cafeteria so I'd sometimes go stand there and buy only a piece of gum as an excuse. It won't help if you want to cry but it helps to feel invisible for a bit.

You might try finding a classroom or area that isn’t being used on a consistent basis. So maybe the band practice area or an arts/crafts class or library or some place, you may want to check with a teacher beforehand. It can be hard with school though, depending on how locked down they have you. For myself personally when I was in school 20+ years ago, I was able to retreat into myself with headphones and music, I was able to block everyone around me out no matter where I was at. Sometimes you can even just walk the halls, walking by itself has been my go-to therapy methods, just walk away and get a change of scenery for awhile. Everyone needs mental health breaks if things are getting overwhelming.

Also, remember that school essentially stops mattering after you get out. Yes, it’s important to graduate and get a diploma, but you’re likely to rarely see those same people ever again after you graduate. I’m 43 and I still have days like that where it feels like no one cares, and I’ve got a partner with kids, it’s tough sometimes.

I think that the closest that I had at school was the library. Even decades later I am still happy when surrounded by books.

Otherwise, somewhere green: walking in woodland or sitting by a stream always improves things.

I go sit in my car. Can you ask your teacher for a pass to the library? If the library doesn't work, go to the school nurse. Tell them you're struggling and you need a quiet place to be alone for s few minutes and regroup.

Have you tried a physical outlet for these emotions? Hit the gym, or put on some headphones and go for a long run. Running can be very meditative and you can do it pretty much anywhere.

Blanket+dog+floor of small closet.

I could never find 1 spot in school that was consistantly safe for me to retreat to for any period of time. Instead I had multiple spots all over where I'd retreat to for short time frames. If one wasn't available, I could move on to the next one without getting too upset.

Friend, I'm sending you hugs, and if you're open to it I'd strongly recommend building meditation skills. Therapy is a must if you want to understand why you feel this way, but meditation can help a lot in the meantime. I wish you the best, and hope you find somewhere safe to breathe today ❤️

Anywhere my pets are. Without my dog I wouldnt have made it through college. The off leash dog park was our stress free zone.

Sorry things feel overwhelming right now. Especially when you're doing the right thing, reaching out. You got this.