this post was submitted on 15 Feb 2024
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Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

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If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

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[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 months ago

Zero risk of STDs

1 high school level health class would have told you that's now how shit works.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago)

be me

Straight

Text somehow more gay than the gayest thing ever could possibly be

"I'm ToTaLlY StIlL StRaIgHt ThoUgH!"

[–] [email protected] 7 points 9 months ago

Jesus is proud

[–] [email protected] 31 points 9 months ago (1 children)

For some reason the "zero risk of getting an STD" made me cringe the hardest.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 9 months ago

One guy in the comments mentioned that he definitely will get an STD but the guy never responded to anyone

[–] [email protected] 32 points 9 months ago

Omg imagine if it were gay though. That'd be embarrassing.

[–] [email protected] 33 points 9 months ago

Trustworthy and heterosexual, like most anon's tales are.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 9 months ago

I don't make the rules, but I think that makes you gay, hombre.

[–] [email protected] 76 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Anon is comfortable with their sexuality just not society's labels and the stigmas he associates with them? Na, this is 4chan, probably just bait.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 9 months ago

Fake and gay

[–] [email protected] 5 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Here I was thinking I was going to read something weird about Angelika Tosh. I am disappoint.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 9 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 0 points 9 months ago

The woman in the picture.

[–] [email protected] 35 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Man sucking the penis of another man.. I dunno that reads a little gay to me. Is gay just involving the ass now?

Do we need new definitions

Homoslighly? Toptetotaller?

[–] [email protected] 37 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (2 children)

I know someone kinda like this. They call it "Heteroflexible".

"I'm straight. But a mouth is a mouth."

Whatever dude. You're a Bi top who doesn't go all the way.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 9 months ago (3 children)

People just care too much about labels. Clearly they've figured out what they're comfortable with and just are uncomfortable with the black and white labels

[–] [email protected] 2 points 9 months ago

I get it. But in the same breath he makes up his own label. Would make more sense if he called out his kinsey scale number.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 9 months ago

That makes me sad, especially during black history month.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 9 months ago

Narrator: There was in fact something gay about it

[–] [email protected] 80 points 9 months ago (2 children)

This is somewhat closer to some historical ideas on sex and gender than our strict homo/hetero divide.

In the classical period manliness in sex was more about being the penetrator rather than who you were penetrating. Intercrucial sex as he describes was quite popular among the Greeks, I believe. "You're only gay if you take it" is an attitude that still exists in some places.

The insecure need to deny the "gayness" is quite childish and perpetuates damaging homophobia, but you can identify as a man, fuck men, and not identify as gay. Human sexual is broader than the boundaries any one culture tries to put on it.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 9 months ago (1 children)

The insecure need to deny the "gayness" is quite childish and perpetuates damaging homophobia,

you can identify as a man, fuck men, and not identify as gay.

Hopefully you are talking about a broader spectrum because this feels contradictory. Bordering the spectrum is not helpful. We striving for people to be more open. There isn't anything to be ashamed of suggesting you are gay, even if you only like a very specific subset. In most cases the avoidance to the word is not because it's too exclusive but because they are afraid of the label.

You shouldn't be ashamed, or shamed for your private life if it doesn't hurt people

[–] [email protected] 2 points 9 months ago

If I've misunderstood your point, let me know.

There isn’t anything to be ashamed of suggesting you are gay

No, for sure, definitely not. That shame - and the juvenile belief that being identified by others as gay is somehow damaging - is harmful. The insecure need to claim 'no homo' perpetuates homophobia. I wanted to state that clearly so my next point isn't misunderstood.

'Gay' is an identity that some people feel applies to them and others do not. Often when you hear, for example, public health officials talking about the '22-23 mpox outbreak, they used terms like 'men who have sex with men' - because men who identify as straight or primarily straight still occasionally have sex with men.

Similarly, plenty of people who identify as gay have sex or have had sex with the opposite gender. Among my gay friends gold star gays are a minority, but I'm 40 and suspect the numbers look different among younger folks. But that doesn't make them shamefully closeted bisexuals, as real as bi-erasure is.

These labels are not iron-clad descriptions of immutable fact, they're identities with fuzzy edges that only roughly describe how we see ourselves and how we want the world to see us.

It is possible to maintain a healthy, homophobia-free identity as a straight man, while still having sex with other men. It's definitely far less common in most parts of the US than a homophobia-laden gay man like Lindsey Graham. But identity is identity whereas behavior is behavior and the two aren't always linked in ways that fit our culture's expectations.

[–] [email protected] 24 points 9 months ago (2 children)

If the balls don't touch it is not gay.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Shit, my balls touch each other.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 8 months ago

Yes, but they are both your balls, so it's not gay, they are just keeping each other company. Nothing gay here either.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 9 months ago
[–] [email protected] 43 points 9 months ago

I mean, he isn't entirely wrong. A bit of a douche, but sexuality isn't purely binary, and it really is about what you're actually attracted to rather than what you can "make do with".

Another way of looking at it is that if you aren't into the person sexually, rather than just human contact as opposed to masturbation, it isn't something that changes your core orientation.

Now, I would still think of that as being into the bisexual section of the slider, but I prefer not to place labels on people when they don't want them. Dude says he's straight, doesn't matter what my personal opinion about where boundaries switch are, he's straight.

Also, it pretty much all feels the same in the dark, mouth and anus anyway. Or so I've been told, never done the whole "dark room" thing myself.

[–] [email protected] 120 points 9 months ago (3 children)

Does this idiot think you can't get STDs from oral?

[–] [email protected] 1 points 8 months ago

Had he said he's using a condom, but no mention of that. His dick will fall off and we'll all laugh. But he's not gay, bro.

I believe that they'd be the best blowjobs, what with the other parties knowing what a blowjob feels like. But I have no urge to find out.

[–] [email protected] 20 points 9 months ago (2 children)

You won't get HIV from receiving oral sex under normal circumstances. That might be a confusing factor. Don't know specifics of other diseases.

[–] [email protected] 45 points 9 months ago

you can get oral chlamydia, gonorrhea, syphilis, and hpv

so yeahhhh it’s basically everything

[–] [email protected] 12 points 9 months ago

The most well known one is cold sores (herpes)

[–] [email protected] 81 points 9 months ago

He's going through mental gymnastics instead of just kissing those cute cross dressers. Of course he's deranged