this post was submitted on 10 Sep 2024
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[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 months ago

Ich shown thee mīn peniſ pleasæ responede

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 months ago

The future of dick pics is beaming them straight to someone’s retinas

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

I like to think that the drawing of the giant naked dude in the English countryside that was made by Paleolithic humans was the first dick pic

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

I was not expecting that

Also please mark this as NSFW

[–] [email protected] 11 points 2 months ago

“My Lady, a dick raven has arrived for you.”

[–] [email protected] 12 points 2 months ago

With RFC 1149, this would still work now.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I thought Cerci Lanister used crows?

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 months ago (1 children)

No, crows guarded the Wall. The messenger birds were ravens.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago

I stand corrected.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago

1847 called, they want their dick pic back.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 2 months ago

Just to be pedantic, this would be a dick pic pre-camera.

[–] [email protected] 20 points 2 months ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago

Goodridge, aged forty when she completed the miniature, depicts breasts that appear imbued with a "balance, paleness, and buoyancy" by the harmony of light, color, and balance.

There's no way her tits looked like that at 40. No sir, I'm not buying it. 🐴

[–] [email protected] 12 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I’ve been sent dick pics before, but being a lesbian they were very unwelcome. If someone sent me a painting of their boobs, though, yep—seems like that would work.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

I would honestly feel obligated to marry any girl who sent me a painting of her boobs. That's a lot of work. There's no way you don't look back and regret missing the girl who SENT YOU A PAINTING OF HER BOOBS ON IVORY.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

Beauty Revealed is an 1828 self-portrait by the American artist Sarah Goodridge, a watercolor portrait miniature on a piece of ivory.

Goodridge gave the portrait to statesman Daniel Webster, who was a frequent subject and possibly a lover, following the death of his wife; she may have intended to provoke him into marrying her. Although Webster married someone else, his family held onto the portrait until the 1980s ...

Imagine holding on to the nude pic that dad's old crush sent him.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I jerk off to this painting as my dad did and his dad before him.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 months ago

What a nice family tradition. I wonder if they all use the same cloth to clean up?

[–] [email protected] 42 points 2 months ago (3 children)

Amateur move not to use the horizontal space to exaggerate.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 months ago

Amateur move to give away the punchline in the title of the post.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 months ago

They need the space for a possible answer from the damsel of the castle.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 2 months ago

Still learning