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The CCTV tapes from Epstein's island
I guess we doin riddles now
A satnav
Diamonds, or any sort of gemstone, as trying to sell those things would probably be as risky as stealing them in the first place.
Nice try, thieves. I'm not giving you any ideas for things to steal. You should steal this idea instead.
A tiger.
Sex
Incan matrimonial head masks
Is there a lot of money in... ah... Incan... Matrimonial head masks?
Boatloads. If you can sell them, which you can’t.
Some people lack vision.
Something valuable you say....hmmm, let me think about it for a sec
Don't forget to rub it with lemons to make the invisible ink visible
Hold on a minute! I'm taking my minute back
Blood.
Stocks or other bonds.
They have serial numbers and can be tracked/locked out from the system.
A gallon of printer ink
That's not necessarily valuable, exactly. Yes, companies charge a lot for consumer ink jet printer ink, but prices go down dramatically when you're talking about commercial printing. A two liter bottle of high-end dye sublimation ink runs about $200 (might be up since I last bought in 2021), and the dye sublimation ink for the HP printer I operate costs about $700/10L.
If your printer has replaceable print heads that aren't part of the ink cartridge, and if you can retrofit a bulk ink system, then you quickly find out that ink is pretty inexpensive.
All the gold in the ocean
F-35 fighter jet. You try to resell that shit.
I'm sure China would put in a bid for one, your life wouldn't be worth living after though you would need serious plastic surgery a new identity and even if you moved to China I'm pretty sure you would have a accident eventually.
I'd go bankrupt 0.00001 seconds into the maintenance cycle
The ECU is unable to communicate with the rear RWR antenna, please contact your local Lockheed Martin dealership for service
A famous work of art like the Mona Lisa, maybe? It would be super hard to steal and you might not be able to fence it because it's too hot. Something like that would immediately go viral on the news and everyone on the planet would be looking out for it.
I understand from some podcast that the Mona Lisa is famousbecause it was stolen. Before that it was just another painting.
some people steal art just for the thrill and don't even attempt to sell
Stolen AGAIN?! (The theft plays a part in the painting's fame.)
A crude oil supertanker. It would probably break international law to sell it to anyone willing to buy it.
You'd be surprised at how many nations would be willing to break that international law for some cheap oil.
I feel like "getting away with it" has that covered, so it would be totally worth it.
I thought the stealing part you got away with but not the selling part
easy fix, don't sell it. turn it into a cruise ship to launder all the oil money.
A balloon on free balloon day?
It's not stealing if you give it back afterwards
Trix.
Silly rabbit, trix are for kids.
The Statue of Liberty
Plutonium.
They found me, I don't know how but they found me
RUN FOR IT, MARTY!
Atomic Basketball Supermen don't grow themselves, bub.
Atomic supermen with octagonal shaped bodies that suck blood
As a normal person with no underground connections, maybe a significantly sized diamond? I don’t even know where to begin to be able to sell it. And any stolen large diamond will definitely raise alarms if I bring it anywhere legal to sell.
Find a shady diamond dealer in Morocco, that's how my uncle managed it.