Anon is 14.
Gotta be.
this post was submitted on 17 Aug 2024
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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.
Be warned:
- Anon is often crazy.
- Anon is often depressed.
- Anon frequently shares thoughts that are immature, offensive, or incomprehensible.
If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.
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Maybe mentally
shocked by "run pantry_raid.exe” as it was not read as pantry raid.
Anon just get a lunch shift at McDonalds and eat all their food.
Snacking is a path to obesity
You're not wrong. Eating just 500 extra calories a day (which is like two donuts, something I could pop down without even realizing I'd done it) means you'll put on a pound a week (3500 calories = 1 pound of body fat) or 52 pounds in one year, which would take a 6'0" 180-pound man into obese territory, per BMI calculations. And TBF that's pretty weak sauce; on numerous occasions I've added that much fat just over the Winter.
This is the perfect representation of how most people would imagine a communist.
There's a shit ton of world building that isn't on the page here.
Like, how long has anon been there? Is it the first time they've had to move in with family? What's the dealio?
Is anon a neet who contributes fuck all to the household? Does anon go days without washing? Has anon been caught rummaging around in Stacy's underwear drawer?
We need answers.
Yes across the board.
🎣🪫
Besides [snack], knockoff [snack], [snack] and [snack] they have no snacks.
Idk. Maybe OOP wanted something healthy?
Anon is a leech
“Besides a bunch of snacks they have no snacks”
Maybe anon wants celery sticks. 🤷🏻♂️
A bit entitled, this anon. With no money, sponging off his little brother. No surprise the sister in law doesn't like him or trust him
A bit? He lives rent free, has no money and complains about the multiple food options that are freely available to him. Grade A narcissist.
And expects them to go back out and pay for his non-problem
Please tell me the replies roasted the shit out of him
Tell me you’ve never seen 4chan without telling me you’ve never seen 4chan.
You can't possibly believe this is real.
This is the most believable thing I've seen here. Like, isn't this a normal 4chan user?
Yeah that's what I'm most curious about.
Is this an oblivious anon posting about something that happened and that he doesn't understand?
Is it a self-aware anon that did do this but understood it to be an awkward and divisive (for bro and sil) but is playing an ignorant persona for the lulz in RL and on 4chan?
Or is this someone who experienced something like this from another perspective and is posting as if they were the moocher?
A fantasy played out by someone in that position who looked for snacks and then thought about how funny it would be to request they buy more food for him?
Or is it purely a creative writing exercise?
Like I think there are people like many of these completely self-oblivious and entitled people out there, but these stories seem to include all the necessary information to at least entertain, which suggests the author is aware of the layers that seem hidden to the character they are writing about.
Doesn't really matter in the end but it can be fun to think about.
Does it need to be real just to be roasted?
I dunno fam, I can see this one happening.
Fake and gay, as all greentexts must be