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for less drama, you could "steal" property from someone you know and they could helpfully press charges so you can get arrested.
just a heads up, most prisons in the US are pay to stay, so you'll accrue debt while inside, and depending on what state you're in you might have to put up a copay for your medical care.
I'd advise doing a little research and committing your inoffensive bank robbery or the like in the right area.
You probably want to go to a minimum security federal prison. The easiest way to get there that I think of is check fraud.
You'll need to write a bunch or bad checks in as many states as you can, or send them through the mail. You'll need to do this a lot, and for a pretty significant amount of money otherwise they'll just give you probation of some sort.
Having a disability might be a problem though; if it costs too much medically to keep you in prison they'll just out you back on the street as a compassionate release.
Sorry about your situation. You bring up a good point. Our economy and gov is so shit about housing, that it actually does make sense to commit a crime to have a place to stay. I'm guessing, it would be better to commit some kind of non-violent white collar crime? I don't know. I'm not a lawyer. This just sucks. Sorry. 😔
I think you'd definitely want a federal minimum security camp. Think more along the lines of mail fraud or some other white collar crime.
I feel icky responding to this because it highlights how shitty society is at taking care of our less fortunate, but if I was inclined to get myself into jail I would probably start with shoplifting the things I need to survive like food, camping supplies, etc. Very low risk of violence and if I don’t get caught, hey I’m better off.
Eventually I’d get caught. Then I can just keep not showing up for court and shoplifting food. Eventually I’ll get thrown in jail and when released I start all over. After enough times I’d graduate from county jail to prison.
I’m not recommending this course of action, but it’s probably what I’d do if that was my goal. Nobody gets hurt.
Would it be possible to volunteer some time to an organization like food not bombs I heard they were getting fines and arrested for distributing food. You could possibly secure some food, help the community and still potentially go to prison for not paying the bogus fine.
Walk into a police station and state you just killed someone. They will lock you up, just be coy about who and where the body is and they will keep you locked up, maybe. If you want out just recant and say you just wanted some shelter. Without a body or a crime scene you will be free to go. IANAL or a cop so I could be 100% wrong in my scheme.
I've heard of some people robbing a bank. The banks will generally give you the money if you threaten them and the camera will usually make it easy to identity you as a robber. You don't even need a gun, you just have to threaten people.
There was someone years ago that used a bank/prison to get their cancer treated. I was thinking along these lines. Wear clothing that can not conceal anything, pass the teller a note, place a squirt gun on the counter, pass it to them, and then lay on the ground until police arrive.
Ideally you want to go to a shelter first, because if a shelter is dangerous or unclean you can just leave (unlike jail). If you can’t find a shelter that has space for you, the next best thing is to sleep somewhere visible but somewhat sheltered and out of the way. Church doorways are ideal since if they find you they will usually offer you help rather than call the cops on you.
If none of those avenues are available to you, hit up your local library. If they don’t outright have a social worker on staff they’ll know how to put you in contact with one and help you with applying for benefits that can at least keep you fed, and will hopefully know how to most effectively get you in line for housing.
totally doesnt answer the original question
That’s a question without an answer, because there is no safe way to get the LAPD to arrest you.
I'm too physically limited for range of mobility like this. I can't seem to find anyone that can diagnose what is actually wrong with my spine. It is in a rare region and complex. Nothing major comes up in a radiologist's MRI report, and neurosurgeons all come with a severe legislatively induced allergy to anything complicated to diagnose or work on. Of 13, only one spent the time to get into the weeds and it was only to make up a legally plausible narrative reason to claim I needed several fusions. They only took the time because they were about to lose their license for malpractice (something I had no clue about at the time). There is no such thing as a House like spinal doctor that will observationally diagnose a person regardless of their ability to treat or the risk involved. If they diagnose the issue they will face subpoenas and lots of time wasted to bureaucratic nonsense. The only options appear to be paying several thousand dollars for a shady lawyer that can bribe their way through the hoops of capitalist privateers or homelessness/suicide. This is Los Angeles where there are 100k homeless within 100 miles of where I lay. There are no available social workers, and every shelter is beyond full. Even the homeless that try to group to help each other are attacked like rabid feral animals by orders of the criminal Newsom. I need a more effective plan.
Shoplift food until you get caught and go to jail.
If you get caught without going to jail just keep shoplifting, at least you'll always have food.