Ask Lemmy

Legalize it, tax it, regulate it like any other job.

I'd not buy any, even when single.

I would consider selling before a lot of other jobs. Depends on the money really. Not much of a market for straight, average looking, men in their 30s however.

I like this answer, but he deleted. It's still in my inbox so I'm gonna share but not mention the commentor's name

In germany sex Work is a normal regulated job like any other. You are insured, receive vacation days, etc. It is accepted here as completely normal work like any other. Because it is. was once in a brothel with a friend. While he was in the room with a lady, talked to the others and asked why they were doing this job. The answer was "I like dicks" and "Its fun and pays very well" To be honest, the ladies seem to enjoy their work more (and earn a lot more) than any job I've had in my life.

Isn’t sex work illegal where I live (USA)? I would rather have a wife.

By the time we normalize sex work, automated alternatives will be available.

I am not saying holodecks will be invented soon, but if everyone had access to basically Star Trek like holodeckes, why would we need real prostitutes?

I don't work and I don't have sex so idk really, I don't feel like I'm the best person to ask about it

It should be everywhere. As simple as buying a pack of cigarettes. For many is literally all the attention will get for the rest of our lives.

I wish it would be everywhere and legalized as much as buying a Pepsi at the market. It sucks to be a virgin.

I don't guess it needs my approval but as long as there is a demand for the service it will happen.

Like you, I just like everyone to get sex for sex, that's how I've always done it, but that's a very recent outlook, it was very gatekept before and women generally were trading sex for something, and men were generally trading something for it. I remember being in high school and the only categories were girlfriend, slut, or just don't have sex, it was so fraught.

I expect there may always be a marketplace. And certainly don't hold any sort of bad feelings towards those trying to market themselves, if you can make a living at it, great.

Went to barber school with a lady who was doing job retraining after getting busted for prostitution. She said she really had enjoyed it, had few clients, all regulars, worked out of her home, made a good living. Wasn't bothering anyone until apparently someone noticed and was bothered.

Totally fine with sex work. Just keep it safe and be nice.

Eh, it's just a service in exchange for money. Just like a massage parlour or spa or doctor or chiropractor or hair stylist. Sex isn't special.

Fine. Let's set up a time, you show me what you can do, and I'll tell you if I approve.

I have no stake in anything sex related, but I've known others which can be described as insatiable. If they are willing and able to do that for of work, then what's the harm?

Neutral. Everything depends on the people involved and the context. A lot of jobs don't seem nice and money shouldn't be the purpose. That's more a criticism of the economy than of sex work.

Not my business, but would hope appropriate precautions are in place for both parties involved.

There are costs beyond the physical.

I agree with you that intimacy shouldn't be for money.

The sexually-transmitted infections ( I cannot understand how the modern population isn't 50+% infected with life-damaging infections, nowadays, and maybe it is, given how disinformation & "marketing" have completely replaced the value of correct-information that journalism used to have ) seem likely to rule the lives of both porn-industry participants & those who use porn as their frame-of-reference for deciding their own lives.

Getting the torquie out from the sex-work industry, however, de-criminalizing it, getting the pimps & organized-crime out of it, to make it safer for those who ( for whatever reason ) work in it, would require some serious restructuring of our cultures.

You've read that in other apes sex is traded by females for nutrition?

Male hoarding of rights/food/power/safety, making female trading of their intimacy for a portion of what the males had possessed as their "rightful exclusive possession", extends well beyond humans.

The thing is, we're supposed to be upright, not rationalizing pack-behavior, but instead dismantling it from us, making us all we can be.

That didn't happen, in the last few millenia.

It's possible that humankind will earn it, now ( The Great Filter, if survived, will produce this result, in about a century ).

but the prejudice is sooo deep..

You know that there is a story in the Abrahamic religions' Book of Genesis, about woman eating of "the fruit of the Knowledge of Good & Evil", which means MORALITY?

& sharing this eating with man?

Wasp-researchers in Panama ( from Exeter & Bristol universities ) discovered that altruism is generalized-mothering, among wasps.

Buddha Gautama stated that this is the case, 25 consecutive centuries ago: altruism is generalized mothering. The Buddhist phrase "all our kind mothers", in referring to ALL other continuums/souls, is rooted in this.

That the Abrahamic-religion men twisted a statement in their own scripture, in order to change it from meaning that women/mothers ate of morality, & shared it with men,

TO women committed the "original sin", & it cannot ever be revoked, & punishing/abusing women is now inherently-valid..

& holding that gaslighting for millenia..

Do you have any idea how fundamental the sex-racism is, in our religions & laws?

What culture/country holds that raising children is real economically-required-and-valid work?

Here in North America, that's a sick joke: raising children is .. treated as parasitism.

The male apes who hoard wealth, forcing female apes into prostitution for sustinance..

There's waaay too much of that, in our cultures.

Remove the need,.

That must come 1st.

Letting people do that if they want to, but cut criminality out from it, completely: criminalize pimping, human-trafficking, certainly, hard-line, but decriminalize sex-work that doesn't harm anybody.

( no protection against infections is harming people: protection ought be legislated, same as in any hazardous work )

do everything one can to prevent people younger than 21yo from doing it ( because brains aren't fully-developed until about then, which is the same reason that setting the legal-drinking-age to 21yo so significantly reduces deaths on the roads: younger people don't consider "no" to be as meaningful as people with older brains do ).

Put care in place for people who've been "turned into commodities" through abusive relationships, to get them out from that devaluation, instead of just letting the industry use their lives, & pretend that that's OK..

etc..

Really, living-wage legislation would cut into the "need" for sex-work, significantly.

Oh, & I've read that when sex-work is suppressed, rapes & domestic-violence both go up, so there's some displacement going on, between the categories, that way..

It isn't a simple thing, & I wish "commerce" & intimacy were so completely distinct that nobody would ever consider a Venn diagram showing intersection of the 2 categories, but .. the actual world doesn't work right..

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I think if it doesn’t affect other people, and nobody is being exploited/everyone is participating willingly, then it’s none of my business what others choose to do.

I’m actually trying to help sex workers, particularly porn Creators, use the fediverse to take control of their social media. I want to help them keep control of their own destiny - https://xxxiver.se

I would never use those services. There is nothing wrong in offering them but I think there is something abusive in accepting the offer. Surely some people do it 100% because they love the work but I am fairly certain that most don't. And those who don't, won't tell you that they don't. So if you accept the service, you might abuse someone's desperation.

Personally i am ok with sex being for money, as long as its a choice. Nobody should be forced into sex work. One can say that work by definition is exploitation but if one has multiple work options and they choose sex work as a line of work, i am ok with it being an option.

Conceptually I have no problem with it, but in practice a lot of people feel like they "should" or "have to" become sex workers out of desperation for money. That can seriously ruin your life. Work under capitalism is inherently unethical, but sex work especially so.

Out of curiosity, why does sex need a purpose? Why should it be or not be for anything in particular? What makes it any different from, say, juggling?

Sex work isn't just prostitution, by the way. It's anyone making a living off of sexual content. If you're shooting porn or are a cam girl, you're a sex worker as well.

Prostitution is problematic in that currently, because it's an illegal service, it's largely being performed by people who don't have a choice in the matter. Human trafficking is a huge problem. If prostitution were legalized and regulated, if the societal "we" changed our collective attitudes towards it, life would improve for a lot of people. I struggle to phrase this next bit in a tactful way. If you're against improving the lives of so many people because it doesn't align with your view of sex should be for, that's pretty shitty of you. Not saying that's the case, I don't live inside your head, but that's how I see it.

Regulate it, keep the workers safe, ensure they're well compensated and tested. Basically, treat is like every other profession.

If two consenting adults want to exchange money for sexual favors, who cares? If the worker chooses to sell their body for money via sexual acts, why is that inherently worse than someone who does construction selling their body for a living?

I approve of it in that it's legitimate work, unlike being a landlord, and lots of vulnerable people end up doing it as the only method of supporting themselves, as well as a lot of single moms trying to deal with making an income and parenting, etc. I would not disparage anyone doing it. Would I worry about their emotional and physical health and safety doing it? Yes. We have a sex workers collective drop-in center in my city who make efforts to try to help keep them safe, such as testing, condoms, etc, which is great. But I can't help but wonder how someone's mental health would be affected by just being a glorified blow up doll. There was an Ask Reddit once about what people saw on porn sets, and someone who worked on one said all the girls seemed really fake and unhappy and vacant emotionally, and that concerns me. I would not want anyone hurt by doing this work is my point, but I don't object to them doing it of course. Just please take care of yourself!

Edit to add: last weekend my church took a potluck to the local park where there is a small tent encampment of unhoused folks and invited them to eat with us, which they did, which was nice, and although they were shy we all talked a little, and some of them were clearly sex workers from what they talked about. One had what I think was scabies on her skin, and that's the kind of thing that worries me.

Sex trafficking or impoverished/addicted people turning to sex work, no. Society has failed them and we need to fix the underlying problems.

Sex work as a concept I take no issue with. I think it solves a lot of problems interpersonally. Dating would improve with less need for people to hide their motives. People too busy or uninterested in relationships would have an outlet, and disabled people who otherwise can't attract a partner benefit greatly as well.

Yes and no. I believe that they are entitled to do whatever the hell they want for a living and are entitled therefore to workers protections and benefits. I do not however respect them at an individual level. So basically do what you want, just do it over there.