this post was submitted on 01 Aug 2024
320 points (95.2% liked)

Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

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[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 months ago

hopefully the fat friend got over the friendzone

[–] [email protected] 22 points 2 months ago

Ok, but I can relate to smiling irl when I see an internet meme in the memetics of the wild

[–] [email protected] 169 points 2 months ago

Dude filtered himself. Best outcome.

[–] [email protected] 54 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Maybe he just did the wrong animal impressions to impress her

[–] [email protected] 15 points 2 months ago

Yellow Canary mining

[–] [email protected] 233 points 2 months ago

Anon chose to outdo the fat friend and cock block himself.

[–] [email protected] 212 points 2 months ago (4 children)

Drunk off his ass.

Need a ride home?

Wtf?

[–] [email protected] 21 points 2 months ago

He was the train conductor.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 months ago

Maybe accompany her so she doesn't have to take the bus alone.

[–] [email protected] 117 points 2 months ago (1 children)

It's ok, this is just what Anon imagined he'd say and do from across the bar while he stared at them and finished his drinks alone.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 2 months ago

It's what he imagined he'd imagine if he ever went to a bar.

[–] [email protected] 50 points 2 months ago

Perhaps “willing to pay for taxi”?

Or “my DD friend is getting me and he owes me a favour?”

[–] [email protected] 63 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Could have been worse. Not sure how but it can always be worse

[–] [email protected] 117 points 2 months ago

Poor girl could have gone home with that asshole.