I hope you step on a lego block
this post was submitted on 31 Jul 2024
60 points (92.9% liked)
Ask Lemmy
27456 readers
1175 users here now
A Fediverse community for open-ended, thought provoking questions
Rules: (interactive)
1) Be nice and; have fun
Doxxing, trolling, sealioning, racism, and toxicity are not welcomed in AskLemmy. Remember what your mother said: if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all. In addition, the site-wide Lemmy.world terms of service also apply here. Please familiarize yourself with them
2) All posts must end with a '?'
This is sort of like Jeopardy. Please phrase all post titles in the form of a proper question ending with ?
3) No spam
Please do not flood the community with nonsense. Actual suspected spammers will be banned on site. No astroturfing.
4) NSFW is okay, within reason
Just remember to tag posts with either a content warning or a [NSFW] tag. Overtly sexual posts are not allowed, please direct them to either [email protected] or [email protected].
NSFW comments should be restricted to posts tagged [NSFW].
5) This is not a support community.
It is not a place for 'how do I?', type questions.
If you have any questions regarding the site itself or would like to report a community, please direct them to Lemmy.world Support or email [email protected]. For other questions check our partnered communities list, or use the search function.
6) No US Politics.
Please don't post about current US Politics. If you need to do this, try [email protected] or [email protected]
Reminder: The terms of service apply here too.
Partnered Communities:
Logo design credit goes to: tubbadu
founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
That is violent...very violent
May one shoelace be permanently tighter than the other just enough to be annoying.
load more comments
(4 replies)
Get a tax bill
May you step in dog shit every day and be oblivious until it's pointed out by someone else.
May your butthole itch after every shower
May you start every sentence with "Like,"
Every bedsheet you ever buy will get terrible pilling within a month (even the expensive ones!)
Oh not the pilling!!
May your toilet seat be forever frozen.
Or oddly hot... like someone's only just finished a 15 minute blow out
You son of a bitch.
I'm in.
load more comments
(1 replies)
May your day be as pleasant as you are.
May you get the hiccups every time you need to be calm or confident.
Every 24 hours, at noon, small rock appears in one of the shoes they are wearing.
They will grow a 5 inch translucent hair from the top of one ear every time they drink coffee.
15 minutes after they ride a bicycle they will have violent diarrhea with 5 minutes of warning signs.
Alcohol has no effect on them.
Every time they turn the steering wheel of their car further than 5°, their turn signal indicates the direction that the wheel turns.
They can hear what their dog or cat is thinking over any distance, but it is only a stream of consciousness because the animal is incapable of understanding that their thoughts are being heard.
Alcohol has no effect on them.
You're going to have to try again for this one.
- a teetotaler
All of their drawers are missing the thing that keeps them from pulling all the way out so they end up yanking the drawer all the way out every time
load more comments
(1 replies)
Make them use Microsoft products.
I kinda like the only-mildly-violent ones, like "I hope you step on a Lego!"
Just be annoyingly cute and nice to them. Like, exrremely.
And what to do with all unicorn blood that's soon to spoil? Just gift it to them? I don't think they'd feel it's a nice gesture it is.
May your children be just like you.
Unforgivable. Should have just killed me.
May you have to deal with people like yourself for eternity.
May you have to deal with people like yourself for eternity nonstop.
so no pause or sleep.
Maybe, we don't know how violent the guy is.
load more comments
(1 replies)
load more comments
(3 replies)