this post was submitted on 31 Jul 2024

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What's the most annoying non-violent curse to put onto someone? (sh.itjust.works)

submitted 3 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

May your PC crash every time you're almost done with your work.

May you always be too hot with the blanket on and too cold with the blanket off.

May a lightbulb in your house go bad every month.

May everything you put on your wall be slightly crooked.

May every bed you sleep on be either too soft or too firm to be comfortable.

May the garbage bag always rip when you go to take out the trash.

May your left headphone always be slightly quieter than your right one.

May sh!tstains be left on your toilet every time you flush.

May all the toilet paper you use in public bathrooms be 1 ply.

May you always stutter right before making a very strong point in an argument.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 months ago

May every shirt you wear have an itchy tag you can't remove.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 3 months ago (1 children)

May you live in interesting times.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 months ago

That can get violent very easily. "Guess what, you'll be in the middle of the most interesting war in history because it was the one that caused the most bloodied carnage and most suffering, ever."

[–] [email protected] 5 points 3 months ago

May the floaty things always stay at the edge of your vision.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 3 months ago

May your socks be forever wet

[–] [email protected] 5 points 3 months ago

You will always feel a hair on your tongue!

You will always feel like something small is crawling on you!

[–] [email protected] 7 points 3 months ago

To bite your cheek in the same place over and over just as it starts to heal

[–] [email protected] 9 points 3 months ago

May all animals you try to pet run away from you in fear.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 3 months ago (1 children)

May your marinara sauce never cling to your pasta!

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 months ago

You are a monster.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 3 months ago

You fart uncontrollably for 30 seconds whenever you see someone you find attractive

[–] [email protected] 17 points 3 months ago (1 children)

May you never find the short edge of your blanket at night.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 3 months ago

🖕

[–] [email protected] 15 points 3 months ago

May your Tupperware and zip locks never fully close, click, snap or seal.

May mosquitos find your skin the rarest of delicacies while rendering others around you uninteresting to feed from.

May your front teeth be magnetic to food particles that are extra adhesive so you almost always have food stuck between your teeth.

May your tires always look deflated to others despite being full so you are constantly pointed at on the freeway and stoplights by other drivers.

May you compulsively jig any time you hear any music for a minimum for 30 seconds.

May you be unable to type so you are forced to handwrite everything. May you work for the IRS who accommodates your technological disability.

May people never find anything you say funny but they always give you halfhearted courtesy laughs.

May any TV channel or streaming station have no content other than Con Air on loop.

May you always get birthday cards, invitations and presents at least a month off from your real day.

May all your furniture squeak incessantly.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 3 months ago

May you receive the respect you deserve.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 3 months ago

May all your condiment packets fail to tear open neatly.

May your internet connection be inconsistent and plagued by outages.

May all your farts be wet and untrustworthy.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 3 months ago

May flies regularly fly past you next to your ear.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 3 months ago (1 children)

One that makes your sense of hearing lag behind your sense of sight by a second.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

Ah, the pulseaudio bluetooth curse. Counterspell: pipewire

[–] [email protected] 12 points 3 months ago (1 children)

You woke up every morning with a mosquito bite on your nether region.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 3 months ago

Good God! He said non-violent, man!

[–] [email protected] -2 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

I hope you die alone and without kids.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

Randomly appearing pebble in their shoes

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 months ago (1 children)

You shit yourself every time someone says something dumb on the internet

[–] [email protected] 7 points 3 months ago

That actually would kill someone from violent diarrhea. Lol

[–] [email protected] 12 points 3 months ago

You always feel like you have to sneeze

[–] [email protected] 24 points 3 months ago (1 children)

May you have the life that you deserve

[–] [email protected] 8 points 3 months ago

Ouch

[–] [email protected] 16 points 3 months ago

May the other side of your pillow be always warm.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 3 months ago

Every liquid product that you try use (glue, shampoo, toothpaste, etc) will be clogged with the dried product requiring a small pick to clear the clog before use.

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