this post was submitted on 10 Jul 2024
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Lemmy Shitpost

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Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


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[–] [email protected] 4 points 5 months ago
[–] [email protected] 5 points 5 months ago

"Mods, deactivate this man's balls."

[–] [email protected] 3 points 5 months ago

They just want your money, super glue works just as good and it's cheaper, non-invasive.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 5 months ago

If this was controlled by your Google home, it would need a battery, which would need to be recharged. Imagine saying "hey Google, turn my balls off" and getting "I can't reach that device" because you forgot to recharge your ball switch last night.....

We're living in the future

[–] [email protected] 8 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (1 children)

We all know pee is stored in the balls.

So this is just a piss switch.
(Which would actually be a real issue solver for folk with incontinence issues.)

[–] [email protected] 3 points 5 months ago (1 children)

That exists. My great-aunt had one of these for her incontinence problems.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 5 months ago

Oh, for real, not just catheters with a valve either, proper internal semi-permanent valves/switches with magnets, some even gravity operated.

Thx for TILing me.

[–] [email protected] 22 points 5 months ago (2 children)

click

Before continuing, please accept the following terms and conditions.... [35 pages of legalese ensue]

[–] [email protected] 4 points 5 months ago

"you're subscription will expire in 3 days. Renew now to avoid testicular incineration."

[–] [email protected] 5 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Followed by 15mins of unsinkable ads

[–] [email protected] 4 points 5 months ago

uBlock Origin -Iceberg edition-

[–] [email protected] 34 points 5 months ago (2 children)

I don't want a kill-switch. I want a turbo-button to slice metal sheets with a jet of cum.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 5 months ago

is this one of them brandnewsentences?

[–] [email protected] 7 points 5 months ago

You need a button for that?

If you are experiencing pressure issues just mitigate the issue by adding acids (via special infection cultures in the balls) to the cum, or some abrasive materials (jagged kidney/bladder stones perhaps?).

[–] [email protected] 14 points 5 months ago (1 children)

That's either a very small finger or a very large dick

[–] [email protected] 3 points 5 months ago
[–] [email protected] 6 points 5 months ago

Like others, I don't have a use for my balls anymore. It sure would be nice to keep them around looking good though. But anyway, could I please just get the euphoria stimulus! I don't really care for all the gooey mess.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 5 months ago

This is an idea from a book by john scalzi called starter villain.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 5 months ago

Roses are red, this drink's made from laudanum...

[–] [email protected] 16 points 5 months ago (1 children)

This is the real reason Data doesn't tell everyone where his off switch is.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 5 months ago

That's some Chobits shit.

[–] [email protected] 32 points 5 months ago

I'd just forget which one is on and which one is off. Also I have zero need for the on setting.

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