this post was submitted on 29 Jun 2024
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[–] [email protected] 5 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

Wait a minute ... does this mean Jesus was undead!? Of course, it all makes sense now!

^40^ And they laughed at him. But he put them all outside and took the child's father and mother and those who were with him and went in where the child was. ^41^ Taking her by the hand he said to her, “Talitha cumi,” which means, “Little girl, I say to you, arise.” ^42^ And immediately the girl got up and began walking (for she was twelve years of age), and they were immediately overcome with amazement. ^43^ And he strictly charged them that no one should know this, and told them to give her something to eat. ^44^ Preferably brains.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 5 points 4 months ago (1 children)

What the hell did I just watch?!

[–] [email protected] 2 points 4 months ago

Kelvin is the youth pastor for his dad’s megachurch. This part of his performative acting out as a result of not wanting to be a youth pastor forever. In case you couldn’t tell from the video he is also coded as a deeply closeted gay man.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 4 months ago

SMH I can't believe they did goku like this.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 4 months ago

So weird to see this without Mr. Incredible twerking

[–] [email protected] 95 points 4 months ago (6 children)

Ok as an ex catholic the level of sacreligiosity here is impressive. The cross isn’t the heavy bit, it’s heavy sure, he was tortured to death, but a stranger helped him carry it when he couldn’t carry it alone. The heavy bit was choosing to go be tortured to death for everyone including his killers. It was refusing to use divine power to save himself. The cross? No, a thief, a murderer, and a prophet died on that hill that day, each carried their cross, each died on it.

Protestants are fucking weird.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 4 months ago

If your god's greatest act is "willingly becoming a murder victim", you might be in a death cult.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 4 months ago

Not to detect from your final point, but I'm quite sure the point of this super dumb religious meme is the symbolic weight of the cross.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (1 children)

It's not protestants, it's wacko us pseudo Christian sects that are anything but (but that seem to be dominant in the religious landscape in the US).

[–] [email protected] 2 points 4 months ago

They are, by and large, Protestant Christians.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 4 months ago (3 children)

What does Protestants have to do with this?

[–] [email protected] 1 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Most of the really out there Christian fundamentalists, the ones eating the brain of the US political system, are derived from the Protestant Reformation (or Anglican, which is sorta to the side of the Reformation). Even the more fundamentalist Catholics in the US have opinions that align to the Protestants around them rather than the Pope. Big Bang and evolution, for example.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 4 months ago

I'm not religious but I live in a protestant (but mostly unreligious) country and it sure seems more sane than Catholics.

Our national church is surprisingly liberal and is welcoming to LGBTQ people for example. The church is also not involved in normal politics. We have specific church elections where members of the church can vote for church shit, but nobody really cares about that.

Catholics are insane though. Why the fuck would anyone trust a homophobic idiot in Rome?

Catholics are the worst of the worst.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 4 months ago

Most of the really out there Christian fundamentalists, the ones eating the brain of the US political system, are derived from the Protestant Reformation (or Anglican, which is sorta to the side of the Reformation). Even the more fundamentalist Catholics in the US have opinions that align to the Protestants around them rather than the Pope. Big Bang and evolution, for example.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 4 months ago

Most of the really out there Christian fundamentalists, the ones eating the brain of the US political system, are derived from the Protestant Reformation (or Anglican, which is sorta to the side of the Reformation). Even the more fundamentalist Catholics in the US have opinions that align to the Protestants around them rather than the Pope. Big Bang and evolution, for example.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 4 months ago

And as a paragon of good I wouldn't think Jesus would be so smug about it

[–] [email protected] 26 points 4 months ago (2 children)

Protestants are fucking weird.

To be fair, transubstantiation.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 4 months ago

To be fair, I think they cut out the part where a bunch of people meditate in catacombs after ingesting mushrooms caps picked from dead bodies.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 4 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 10 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (1 children)

The idea that the crackers catholics eat during mass turn into the literal not figurative flesh and blood of Christ because the High Fairy said the magic words.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 4 months ago

That means it's fine to give wine to kids because it totally won't give them a buzz! It won't affect their feelings towards the church or make them easier to manipulate at all.

Nope. Nuh-uh.

[–] [email protected] 27 points 4 months ago (2 children)

Jesus, known for lifting up crosses

[–] [email protected] 18 points 4 months ago (1 children)

That's what they call crossfit

[–] [email protected] 1 points 4 months ago
[–] [email protected] 20 points 4 months ago

Someone helped him carry it after he collapsed a few times.

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