Asklemmy

I hug my friends. I don’t want to snuggle with them.

I will reciprocate hugs.

I don't like snuggling.

Playful wrestling gets really close to other acts to establish dominance that I don't want to do with my friends.

Hugging, definitely. No playful wrestling since high school, and what there was there was definitely more motivated by competition and testosterone than affection.

As for snuggling, I wouldn't want to snuggle with anyone that I didn't have at least some sexual attraction to, unless I was in serious emotional distress and just needed it for the reversion to childhood. So I don't snuggle with guys. I don't know of many straight women who snuggle with their platonic friends either, beyond like sharing a blanket for a movie.

No and no,

In my culture, it is almost weird for men to have feelings. Everybody knows that men aren't emotionless machines, but they sometimes forget that. So you can guess that hugging a man as a man is somewhat weird. Before COVID, it was common to give handshakes; after that, pretty much every interaction stopped. Yes, I would really wish that it became more socially accepted. Because I think, When everybody interacts on a physical level, people will be less tense and more relaxed.

Edit: Well I need to correct myself, I think it is not really a social problem, but it rather is a me problem. I'm not very comfortable with touching somebody so it could be that I've been ignoring those interactions for years.

I’m not very physically affectionate with anyone anymore and I don’t know why, but I used to be very affectionate. Now, like, when I want to hug someone, throw my arm around them, or… anything, I freeze up and internally panic unless I know the person pretty well and they invite the contact first.

With that said, meh. I don’t care if it’s a man. I don’t enjoy wrestling, but other forms of affection or physical contact are fine. I have no sexual interest in men, so I guess I don’t even think about it that way.

No. The hug men do is not affectionate but a greeting after a long time, comfort for bad times, or a congrats

When I was in highschool, it was normal for everyone in my mostly male friend group to greet each other with hugs. I remember my dad saying he found it weird. Didn't change anything.

I have hooked up with several of my friends, we cuddle often, and are not afraid so show affection, but we're all homos so I guess that's less odd. But I have met straight guys who are very confortable being platonically affectionate with us. I feel like society prevents me from being touchy out of fear of being called gay. It's not gay to lay your head on your bro's lap. Those thick tights are comfy af.

Sure, if we're close.

Hug long term friends if not seen for a while or if any of us need a hug.

Wrestling and snuggling, erm nope.

Me and my homies always put kisses on texts and have for a decade at least. We will tell each other we love each other too.

Heck yeah. Mind you, I respect other people's contact preferences and don't push a hug on anyone. Made that mistake some in my younger days, but realized it was shitty behavior eventually.

But I hug the hell out of anyone I care about enough to call friend or family. I'm a hugger, that's just how I am.

I got lucky tbh. My dad wasn't particularly huggy, but he always welcomed us kids when we hugged him. And I had one uncle that was never a hugger, and would avoid them when he could. But otherwise, the men in my life growing up were comfortable with demonstrative affection. Hugs, putting an arm around you, pats on the back, gentle pats on the head, just those little touches that say "I love you" in a way that doesn't need words because they're done without thinking, they just reach out and that connection happens.

Oh! And kisses on the top of the head. Big thing on my mom's side for the men to kiss kids on the top of the head.

My dad was more of the sort to put an arm around you when you sat beside him, but he knew the power of a hug when someone is upset and never hesitated to do so, despite not really liking hugs much. And he was definitely a patter lol. Pats on the head, on the back, just affection by touch.

So, by the time I was a teenager, I was without much of a barrier to hugs. Never got indoctrinated with the stiffness and emotional distance that comes with that barrier. My friend group in high school, we hugged every damn day, usually multiple times a day. We'd meet in the library of a morning and as each of us rolles in, a round of hugs would happen. We'd freely express love for each other verbally too. And not even in the forced jocular "love ya bro" way that started being more acceptable back then. But full on "I love you, I'll see you tomorrow" type goodbyes.

Shit, some of us would hug our teachers, when they'd let us. Obviously, most of them would not allow it, but there were a couple that didn't mind. Gods! The principal! Old guy, retired at the end of my senior year. Handing out diplomas at graduation, and shaking hands. Every one of our group just took the diploma and hugged the guy. He was shocked by it, but he knew how we were, and ended up just smiling for the rest of the ceremony. After the first few of us did it, other students not in our group did it too. He was a superb principal, and was sorely missed.

Imo, there is nothing that builds and maintains healthy relationships like regular hugging.

This is already long, but you mentioned other forms of contact. Snuggling depends on the person, but I gladly snuggle with friends if they're down for it. Can't play wrestle what with my age and bad back, but used to.

And I'm down with cheek kisses with friends too. Hell, I don't even object to non sexual lip kisses in theory, though it isn't a thing that happens very often. Only times it ever happened with male friends was in moments of distraction when saying goodbyes in a group that included spouses lol.

I hug some good friends after a long absence or family members the same. Never snuggling or wrestling, lol.

I'm not no. I'd give my buddies a hug if I haven't seen them in a while, but that's really it. I think it should be more socially acceptable but I don't personally feel like anything is missing from my own relationship with them. It's fine for me how it is.

I have friends I will happily hug if we've been apart for a while.

Snuggling definitely sets off some kind of panic reaction in me however. Also, when unknown guys get too close, fight or flight immediately kicks in.

I'm sure there is nothing to unpack there.. nothing at all

Occasionally get rowdy with some light punching, has devolved into some wrestling until someone's hurt. Happens less as we have gotten older and we don't bounce up off the floor and shake it off like we used to. Hugs with other guys are limited to a friend's uncle and his husband.

Local culture is not touchy feely, but we have no problem being naked around strangers in sauna/spa environment.

“I’m not, and also I don’t want it to be socially acceptable” gives massive “it’s okay to be gay as long as you don’t do it in public” energy.

Nope. Too likely they're either a toxic two steps from blatant homophobia, or an actual incel these days. I kinda wish it was more socially acceptable, but at the same time? A lot of these dudes make me regret/resent the gender I was born as.

No I'm not.

And honestly I'd say no I wouldn't want it to be.

Hugging ✅

Snuggling - Not really a problem

Playful wrestling - Guaranteed the guy who instigated it is in the closet, same with most people who watch actual wrestling

Im one of those bookish introvert types and im old so I have learned to handle more interaction but no I don't want more being socially acceptable. Im still ackward when my sisters hug me. Heck even a bit with my wife but its a good ackward.

Yes. Absolutely. I'm the relatively rare hyper-social under-stimulated autistic type, in a friend group of people that aren't into close contact and frequent interaction. It's incredibly frustrating, but I'm distrusting of new people, and, ultimately, they've always been there for me. Despite my :3ness.

I had a smaller group that was into it for a little while, but that time has passed. Very, very passed. We don't talk about that.

You guys have friends?

I'm glad yall have good people in your life. Every single person in my life is a liability.

Just another person to fuck you over. Just another obligation to be maintained. Just another human.

Hugging is cool. I'm not wanting beyond that from my male friends.

I am a boomer.

Hugging, definitely.

Snuggling, maybe? Like maybe we both fell asleep in the back of a van and ended up snuggling a bit and when we woke up we're not weirded out by it.

Wrestling, maybe, but it would probably be with kids or pets around. I can't remember doing it but I wouldn't be weirded out by it.

It wasn't always this way though. I was raised southern Baptist. Becoming OK with male physical interactions and homosexuality was a journey, and I am much happier with how accepting I am now than when I said I was as a Christian who had this low-key hypocritical "I know the truth of god and accept everybody" while also looking down on sinners.

I have a gay friend who came to visit me and we went around the city and to a house party and had a great time and then fell asleep in the beach. The next day he said "that was one of the best dates I've ever been on" and it caught me off guard because I was just "hanging out", but if it had been a girl, it would have been a great date, and I thought "ok, sure, it was a 'date' with a guy friend and that's ok." It was a big step for me.

Hugging friends -- yes and easy. Snuggling -- never. And this doesn't apply only to men, it applies to women whom I don't find attractive as well.

Physical affection from someone I don't find attractive is super akward. Now I'm a cis straight male, so this principle applies to essentially all men.

P.S. OP, if you like more actual physical affection from your male friends, it's maybe just time to come out of the closet. This is lemmy, nobody is really straight around here anyways

Wait, so you all are telling me that you don't kiss the homies goodnight?

I wish it were more acceptable, but personally I'd just rather not be touched by anyone.

No, I don't have close friends. I prefer not to touch or be touched anyway, particularly by other men.

I don't mind if it became more socially acceptable, probably would be healthier overall. As long as it's also acceptable to be able to request no touching.

Bloody oath! My brothers and my closest mates all get hugs, and my near 18yo stepson and I still hug goodbye or goodnight too.

Eons ago, in my twenties, some friends and I had a party. There were a lot of people there, so it was pretty crowded in the couch.

A friend of mine arrived, and he was having trouble finding a place to sit, so I sat back and told him half as a joke "You always have a seat in my lap". He took me up on the offer.

After a while of him sitting there, both of us enjoying the spectacle around the table, one of us (I don't remember who) said:

"This was surprisingly pleasant"
We're both straight dudes.

In Dubai and India I saw male friends holding hands together while walking down the street, and I thought it was really nice.

I hug my male friends often.

No.

Yes, I wish it was more socially acceptable, but I still wouldn't be physically affectionate. Because autism.