Start splitting the bill so you each only pay for what you're eating yourselves. Jesus, man, the pussy can't be THAT good.

... As an addendum to a comment I made somewhere else on this:

Abso-fucking-loutely do not show her this post to prove a point! You won't be able to explain the context no matter how hard you try.

But, if you are looking to end the relationship with a quickness by all means, YOLO this shit. Get some video if you can anonymize it somehow.

We are just rando internet idiots. Don't be taking advice from us, if that was the intention. We are just here for the validation of your bias and some magic internet points.

Make her pay for her shit.

Run my friend... run fast and do not stop until you're out of her reach!

btw: In restaurants à la carte is the practice of ordering individual dishes from a menu in a restaurant, as opposed to table d'hôte, where a set menu is offered. It is an early 19th century loanword from french meaning "according to the menu". Your fiancee acts like she's the queen.

RUN!

I can't afford to eat at places that use words like la carte and entree so not entirely what help I could be here. But I don't really see a problem in doing other things instead. I know I wish our friends would. Even cheaper places still feel pretty expensive and the food is something I could make for no effort at home by just chucking a packet into the oven.

Y'all should just go to a buffet or all you can eat style thing. Maybe hotpot or something

Where are you going where an entree and water costs 10.99?

I am going to parrot what others are asking - what part of this is the biggest problem? If it's the expense, show her the bill. Tell her it bothers you that you don't treat the restaurant experience the same. Ask about why she doesn't like the canned options.

But you know - I don't think she is capital W Wrong in her approach, especially if you only go out to eat rarely. If she wants a variety, could you just order a bunch of appetizers for the table and share? We usually order for the table in expensive places, not for ourselves, we go one item at a time and share it, and that's one of the best things about the fancier restaurants. Or go to an Ethiopian place, they serve everything on one big injera for both of you.

Communication is the issue here I think - does she see it as "you are taking her out and want her to go indulge herself and enjoy" because going out to eat is entertainment and you see it as "I want to go out to eat because it's convenient and you are taking away the one benefit of going out to eat". And you are going to have to manage those competing desires in some way. I don't think it needs to be crazy expensive if that's what's bothering you.

How do you cook and eat at home? I really like to cook and can make food as good as we get when we go out, but if I want convenience my husband gets us takeout from somewhere. A restaurant is more for the experience not just the food.

Have you tried communicating with her?

Is the sex good at least? That’s the only reason I can see you staying with her.

Maybe it would help if you had a heart-to-heart about why this is bothering you and (together) make a plan to tackle this. From your description, it seems like the occasional margarita is not really the issue but it's the inconvenience to the staff, the embarrassment to you, and the costs that come with the dishes she orders. It might help to look at the menu online beforehand and decide on what you're getting in advance. You could even pick out two dishes together, and you could share a few bites, if you're okay with that. Her behavior seems to be at least a little compulsive, which is hard to get rid of but can be overcome with some practice.

Is she odd with food in general? Or just at restaurants?

What's the root concern? Cost, imbalance, or inconvenience?

• If it's cost, she can pay for herself.
• If it's imbalance, don't go 50/50. She can pay for whatever she wants.
• If it's inconvenience (takes too long to order and get food), you can order and ask for your food to be brought out when ready. Or just wait, chill out, and enjoy some time together.

You should never worry about inconvenience to the restaurant or staff. Substituting is normal. If they can't do it, they'll tell you. Otherwise they'll happily provide the food and take the money. That's the social contract.

From your description, it looks like the main issue is #1 and #2. If so, a frank conversation should fix it. It may solve the problem, or uncover larger issues and expectations you should probably handle before getting married.

At the end of the day here's the truth of the matter. This will not change, and it will bother you for the rest of your time together. If this is actually annoying enough for you to post this here, it will only get worse over time. You're not gonna get used to it, you will likely grow to resent her for it. People don't change, not really. Decide now, this is a deal breaker or not. There's no way this behaviour doesn't bleed into other shit in your lives. Changing course this far into the game is hard, but I suspect that you already know what you wanted to hear from everyone the moment you posted this. Listen to your gut.

Is what bothers you about it that she is creating a significant expense you have to deal with, or something else? If it's not the something else, seems like a simple solution would be to just ask her to split the bill so she can be responsible for her expensive preferences. If it is the something else, why is it a problem?

I do this - order a la carte and hold stuff. I try to be very nice about it. I don't want a 3 taco plate with rice and beans for $20, only to throw most of it away. I want a la carte one taco and rice. Everytime I get a salad without dressing, a burger without sauce, anything without cheese, etc., it gets questioned. Please stop trying to give me other dressings, different sauces, and cheese on everything. I get menu anxiety and usually check it before we go so I can make a plan, especially if we're dining with people I don't know well. Know that's it's frustrating for her too; extra frustrating if you're calling attention to it.

Attempt to talk about this like you are normal humans. If she listens to you and cares about your feelings, talking about problems matters.

If that doesn't work and you still really like the girl, refuse to take her out to a real restaurant again. Costco hotdogs only after that, period. She can customize the fuck out of as much ketchup and mustard as she wants.

Going out to a really good restaurant should be as much of an atmosphere experience as it is an experience with the food. A bad atmosphere will ruin the food for me and the atmosphere includes the people I am with.

Part of a healthy dining experience is being aware of the people I am with and making sure I am not fucking with their experience. It's a mutual effort.

When I am able, I will pay through the teeth for a perfect dining experience and it's super rare and super valuable to me. Day to day? A pickle wrapped in a slice of ham could work fine for a quick meal. Whatever. Even if your budget is less than $100, there is no reason that shouldn't be an emotional experience as well. (Everything is relative, is my point.)

How is this a “good” off my chest?

Maybe she'd like a buffet where she can make her own plate. There are so many types of places that specifically do custom orders like sandwich shops and bakeries, along with pizza, buffets, and lots of cultural food types (Asian, Mexican, Italian, etc). Maybe try those options.

To a lesser extent, it is worth noting that some people like being ordered for. It would be wise to ask if that would work for her before attempting it, though.

Is it possible she now feels like, "well we only go out like twice a year, this is a special treat, and I want to get exactly what I want!" (Mostly) Joking on that.

My only suggestion (that you didn't ask for) is that if she can't decide between a burger and tenders, maybe you get the burger and agree to split it with her getting the tenders. My husband and I do this (he doesn't love it so we don't do it often) but my sister and I always do it, that way we can get something healthy AND something indulgent

This is a red flag. Don't turn fiance to spouse until you really think about this or get her to corrupt it. Never going to dinner will make any future dates exceedingly difficult.

But honestly, if she has this red flag, there are likely a bunch of others you aren't seeing. The level of inconsideration she has to have to let her treat other people this way is exceedingly high. Not just how she's treating the wait staff, but the imposition placed on the cooks, as well as how the experience is affecting you. She's at best extremely thoughtless and inconsiderate.

Edit:or don't, divorce is available later if things bother you bad enough

Have you tried going for something with a tapas format where it's expected to get lots of different small dishes?