this post was submitted on 28 Jun 2025
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Off My Chest

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My fiancée does not know how to order off a menu. Actually she does, she doesn't care to order from a menu like most people do.

Going out to eat with her is pretty much an hour long ordeal of me gritting my teeth while she racks up a bill 3x mine, all while trying nicely to steer her to just one item. She'll open the menu, get overwhelmed with options, and end up ordering a la carte from places that do not work that way, asking for endless substitutions and upcharges. As an example, at a restaraunt, she might not be able to decide between a burger or chicken tenders, so she'll ask for "a half order" of both of them, then she likes the sound of one specific dipping sauce that comes with another entree so she'll ask for a cup of that, etc. Etc. I'll say something before we go in, she'll promise me she'll just get a water, and then get a water - and a margarita. It's draining. At this point, we go out maybe once pr twice a year unless something forces us out more than that.

The scenario that prompted this rant was that tonight was one of those times. Our bill was $82.10. My entree plus water was $10.99.

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[–] [email protected] 0 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

Attempt to talk about this like you are normal humans. If she listens to you and cares about your feelings, talking about problems matters.

If that doesn't work and you still really like the girl, refuse to take her out to a real restaurant again. Costco hotdogs only after that, period. She can customize the fuck out of as much ketchup and mustard as she wants.

Going out to a really good restaurant should be as much of an atmosphere experience as it is an experience with the food. A bad atmosphere will ruin the food for me and the atmosphere includes the people I am with.

Part of a healthy dining experience is being aware of the people I am with and making sure I am not fucking with their experience. It's a mutual effort.

When I am able, I will pay through the teeth for a perfect dining experience and it's super rare and super valuable to me. Day to day? A pickle wrapped in a slice of ham could work fine for a quick meal. Whatever. Even if your budget is less than $100, there is no reason that shouldn't be an emotional experience as well. (Everything is relative, is my point.)