Ask Lemmy

Got married.

A few days ago I cut my finger open on an extremely sharp bread knife. I knew the knife was sharp but I wanted to see how sharp, so I put my finger on it. It turns out that it was sharp enough to cut my finger.

I'm 35.

At least I know the stove is hot

I pushed too quickly on my french press and an eruption of hot coffee water shot up the sleeve of my robe, which trapped it against my arm long enough to burn the skin. I am hoping for no blister, but I have a 4cm red triangle on my forearm now.

Trying to longboard again as an aging millennial.

Sledding down a hill. I thought the bottom someone had made a ramp.

Nope.

Giant frozen pothole.

Soon as we hit it I HEARD something snap in back. We flew up in the air. And landed - on ice - I landed on my ribs.

I have managed to injure my spine AND my ribs.

A few days ago, I tried to catch up to my 4 year old who was running down our asphalt driveway after getting off the preschool bus, running to the back-left of him, he turned into my path to see where I was, so I sort of "jumped" out of the way to avoid plowing right into him, just barely clipped him a bit but tore up my arm and knee landing on the asphalt. Stupid, because I should have assumed he might decide to change direction or something... seems obvious now.

Before that, a few months ago I was cutting a watermelon and, with my hand that was holding the melon in place, I pulled it up off the melon too haphazardly and the tip of the knife sliced deep into my ring finger. Borderline needed stitches, but didn't get them. Got by fine with butterfly bandages and wound glue, but there's yet another big scar on my hands. At least I still have all my fingers. I was given a Christmas gift of a cut glove after that.

Every so often I roll my ankles taking a bad step it hurts like hell for days!

To make matters worse I have unusually dense bones so nothing ever breaks.

I stepped down my singular step porch and tore a ligament in my ankle the day I moved into this house.

Two years later (a week ago) I broke my toe in the same place.

I had to mop the basement floor after new tile was laid and now my back is stiff.

I work in a kitchen. Obviously we regularly handle very hot items (food, pans, oil, etc).

My coworker had just pulled a metal pan from a 500°f oven and even called out "BEHIND, HOT!" as she attempted to place the pan on the make table. My stupid ass decided our (mainly clear) make table needed cleared off. So at the very moment she tried to set down a 500°f pan, I shoved my arm directly into her path, causing her to press the pan into my forearm, causing instant second degree burns.

I still have the burn marks and it's been a week and a half 🙃

I took a step, I should not have done that.

I reached for something. mid-40s...

Left the cupboards open and then did dishes within 5 minutes and after leaning down, I hit my head on one of the open cabinet doors.

Using a mandolin slicer to cut a cucumber, got too close and the tip of my finger ended up in the cuke bowl

I was trying to use a mandolin to remove the wax from a section of Gouda cheese, and slipped. Chopped off about 3mm of my thumb and about 5mm of thumbnail.