I hope the children of ice agents despise them. I hope everyone who knows they are ice agents, treats them the way you would treat a pedophile or murderer. If you don’t want to be despised and depressed, don’t be an ice agent
this post was submitted on 27 Jun 2025
548 points (98.6% liked)
The Onion
6335 readers
704 users here now
The Onion
A place to share and discuss stories from The Onion, Clickhole, and other satire.
Great Satire Writing:
- The Onion
- Clickhole
- McSweeney's
- Reductress
- The Chaser
- The Hard Times
- The Needling
- Tattletale Times
- The Beaverton
founded 3 years ago
MODERATORS
In this instance, rapid and total desuscitation was clearly indicated by experts as the optimal solution
Follow your leader
I wish all ICE agents a happy go kill yourselves.
If you were a brown shirt or an SS-Mann in Nazi Germany or a faceless ICE thug in the Trump regime, you are an objectively bad person. Subhuman filth. You have no worth to society or to anyone around you. You're not welcome here and nobody likes you. Please make yourself go away.
ICE agents should ice themselves anyway...
NO!
Not if there is a slight possibility of them getting revived from being in the freezer!
Ha!
Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. There are people who can help you if you're having thoughts of suicide, unless you're Stephen Miller.
That's how you fight! No pulled punches, aim slightly behind your target, punch through their ass.
If you are an ICE agent experiencing thoughts of suicidal ideation, remember this: your choices and actions have led you to be undeserving of the life you were gifted, and the world is better off without you.
GodDAYUM that article is fucking brutal.
It's not wrong though.
She did her part!
Joking aside, thoughts and prayers for all those struggling ICE agents out there:
I think they deserve to suffer,
I pray the consequences of their inhumanity make them suffer more.