I think this is due to the person’s definition of asshole being someone who sends death threats
this post was submitted on 22 Mar 2024
1 points (100.0% liked)
tumblr
3307 readers
1 users here now
Welcome to /c/tumblr, a place for all your tumblr screenshots and news.
Our Rules:
-
Keep it civil. We're all people here. Be respectful to one another.
-
No sexism, racism, homophobia, transphobia or any other flavor of bigotry. I should not need to explain this one.
-
Must be tumblr related. This one is kind of a given.
-
Try not to repost anything posted within the past month. Beyond that, go for it. Not everyone is on every site all the time.
-
No unnecessary negativity. Just because you don't like a thing doesn't mean that you need to spend the entire comment section complaining about said thing. Just downvote and move on.
Sister Communities:
-
/c/[email protected] - Star Trek chat, memes and shitposts
-
/c/[email protected] - General memes
founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
But what if my rape and death threats were just, like a joke? Pft
I've asked myself in the past, if someone found my account, would they be shocked to read what I posted? I want the answer to be no. I wouldn't want someone IRL to see my account activity and be shocked by what an asshole/troll I am on the internet. I hope that the person I am on the internet is at least as kind as I perceive myself IRL, if not kinder.
Honestly my username is based off my real name and I use it for a number of other things my family members all know about. At best, they might be surprised and some of my comments discussing events they were involved with, and perhaps my descriptions of how the religion some of them are still in harmed me, because I don't bother discussing that with those still religious du3 to not wanting to fight.
Of course, I'm mentioning specifically my comments to reddit and both lemmy accounts. Why do I have two? I started on World then World defederated a few communities I was interested in keeping up with, not because I really participated, but because I like having a balanced input and some were interesting for work (mostly piracy and privacy, as I work in IT). I don't use reddit anymore except maybe old solutions for work stuff, but I still have much more comments there than on lemmy so far.
(This is my other account).
...
(OK I have a NSFW one too, but I never comment or post on that one. Not sexy enough.)
I might be calling myself out a little, but VRchat and its avatars do an astronomical amount of heavy lifting in that department.
In other news: the sky is blue.
The term code-switching comes to mind, but it's not a perfect fit. The linguistic term talks about it more as something that people will do when they aren't able to express an idea in a specific language or dialect. The other time I here it is when talking about racial inequality, and code-switching in that context includes how one dresses, talks, behaves, etc.
In the same fashion that folks can be normal in social settings but shitty online, I've often heard that abuse happens in private because abusers only allow themselves to be abusive in private. This sounds very similar to the concept of code switching, though is almost the opposite of what it usually means. I do not know of a term for it.
Long story short, you are the ultimate decider of how you act, and you are yourself in all contexts. Take responsibility for your behavior in all contexts, because it matters in all contexts.
At the same time, though, I am a determinist who views humans as animals running off the same reward systems as any other animal, and thus equally likely to be 'unconscious' of their problematic behaviors. The seed of self control, the very idea of autonomy and personal responsibility, needs to be planted in many people. That role initially falls upon the parents, then the teachers as well, and then the individual's community. If none of that occurs, then it is no longer any small collection's duty, but the duty of society at large. So punch Nazis - you're doing them a favor.
Ah, that's like multilingual speakers. They tend to have different personalities per language spoken.
Actually I'm fairly charismatic and confident online and on the phone but IRL I'm a nervous wreck so this theory is false ;)
This is about assholes, not people with social anxiety issues.
"There is no devision between who you are on social media and who you are for real"
I'm an asshole.
Death threats though? That's.... Another level.
It's the greater internet fuckwad theory
That isn't being disputed, it's just not a good excuse that someone can do it because everyone else is
The post literally says, "If you are the kind of person who shouts death threats in a strangers social media dms, you are no different than [the] kind of person who shouts death threats to a stranger in the steeet." But we have over a decade of data showing that they are very different people, that anonymity and online detachment cause otherwise normal people to behave this way, and that awareness of the effects of this behavior can curb it. I get that the post is trying to create a moral equivalence, but A) that is simplistic view of digital aggression and B) calling people assholes online just contributes to digital aggression.
It's the anonymity which is the door opener. The assholeness was inside the whole time. Take away laws and law enforcement and then people will show their real faces. That's the point of the post.
This shares some similarities on how getting caught is a good deterret regarding crime rather than severity of punishment.
The flip side of that is that non-anonymous speech can't be trusted: there is no reliable way to determine whether the speaker is speaking truly, or just trying to avoid unpleasant consequences.
Again, no, studies show that it's more complicated than that; it's not just that anonymity lets people be assholes, but that anonymous online interactions cause people to behave differently. There are a lot of theories on why, like that non-verbal communication makes people assume the worst intentions in others, or that typing on an app makes you feel like you're talking with yourself, but it's definitely clear that anonymous online interactions don't just enable negative behavior, they create it.
People do the same thing when they're diving because of the pseudo anonymity you have when you're in a car.
I disagree with this. The issue is more nuanced than that.
Sometimes people have a bad day now and then, and sometimes a bully needs to be bullied back.
There's a huge difference between your true self and your societal masks. Just because you don't act on your base impulses, because of the repercussions, doesn't mean you don't have and experience them.
So everyone is an asshole then? This form of thought makes it impossible not to be.
Nah, I'm saying if you naturally have mean thoughts, that you constantly need to suppress, then you're probably an asshole. I would assume most people are generally good.
That makes sense, but it seems to support the underlying idea that your internet persona matches your actual persona. Like, those nuances and days that are exceptions to the rule happen in the real world just like online.
I think batman was wrong, the joker was right, and realistically it does just take one bad day. Everyone having the capacity for horribleness doesn't really take away from the nobility of people escaping that horribleness, though, or "choosing" not to engage in it. If anything, I would think it'd make that decision more noble.
At the same time, where does that leave the joker? Does it matter whether or not he "chose" to be the joker, or if he was just predisposed to be that way? I dunno, I don't really think so. The core reality remains the same, or else there is no/little coherence to reality, and we live inside of a chaotic hellscape. Which I'm not, you know, fully prepared to deny, but more I think my denialism would probably come from the idea that I need to enforce my own coherence on reality, to simply believe in it regardless of the validity.
Somebody stop me if I sound like I've lost my mind and this is totally off-topic, though.
My toxic trait is that online I code switch to calling out bullshit instead of sitting quietly listening to nonsense
Yeah, now that you mention it, the Lemmy version of me is just like the real version of me except I talk to strangers.
Not sure being nice in irl has ever helped anything but me getting treated like a doormat 🤷♀️
Seems like you need to learn how to set boundaries.
The golden rule is actually 2 rules:
-
Treat people the way you would like to be treated.
-
If people treat you the way - you wouldn't want to be treated - you're allowed to treat them the same way back. Or to just walk away...
Introspection is key. Are you actually nice or do you just think you are?
Would an average person describe you as nice? I'm not saying you should care what others think, I'm saying you can use what others say as a starting point, especially if it's someone whose opinion you respect.
I don't care if racists or sexists call me intolerant, but you can be sure that if my best friend who is a very sweet person said I'm being hateful then I would take that to heart and reevaluate my biases and preconceptions.
Honestly I don't think about the past very much and I don't think anyone thinks I'm nice now and I don't care. Am I an asshole to everyone? Not if you don't deserve it. Am I nice? No. I'm reliable, hard working, persistent, analytical but not nice. I'm an anti-racist, mutual aid oriented anarchist. My life worked out just fine. I paid off my home and have a family and friends and am winding it all down to relax while the world burns around us.
Honestly, from what I've read, you might come off as a self righteous asshole, no offence
None taken, I really don't care what you think nor does it affect me or my life in any way. I think that only a fellow asshole would take the time to send this message with your shitty walk back.
I absolutely agree. Let's hope our inner assholes vanish one day. Stay strong, bother/sister
Fair point
The lesson you needed to learn there was that you are surrounded by people who take advantage and you need better friends. It's like making a peace deal with Hitler and being surprised he broke it. Of course he broke it, he's a terrible person. You need different allies.
view more: next ›