this post was submitted on 22 Mar 2024
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Not sure being nice in irl has ever helped anything but me getting treated like a doormat ๐คทโโ๏ธ
Seems like you need to learn how to set boundaries.
The golden rule is actually 2 rules:
Treat people the way you would like to be treated.
If people treat you the way - you wouldn't want to be treated - you're allowed to treat them the same way back. Or to just walk away...
Introspection is key. Are you actually nice or do you just think you are?
Would an average person describe you as nice? I'm not saying you should care what others think, I'm saying you can use what others say as a starting point, especially if it's someone whose opinion you respect.
I don't care if racists or sexists call me intolerant, but you can be sure that if my best friend who is a very sweet person said I'm being hateful then I would take that to heart and reevaluate my biases and preconceptions.
Honestly I don't think about the past very much and I don't think anyone thinks I'm nice now and I don't care. Am I an asshole to everyone? Not if you don't deserve it. Am I nice? No. I'm reliable, hard working, persistent, analytical but not nice. I'm an anti-racist, mutual aid oriented anarchist. My life worked out just fine. I paid off my home and have a family and friends and am winding it all down to relax while the world burns around us.
Honestly, from what I've read, you might come off as a self righteous asshole, no offence
None taken, I really don't care what you think nor does it affect me or my life in any way. I think that only a fellow asshole would take the time to send this message with your shitty walk back.
I absolutely agree. Let's hope our inner assholes vanish one day. Stay strong, bother/sister
Fair point
The lesson you needed to learn there was that you are surrounded by people who take advantage and you need better friends. It's like making a peace deal with Hitler and being surprised he broke it. Of course he broke it, he's a terrible person. You need different allies.