Learn bash. Learn jenkins. You'll thank me later
this post was submitted on 06 Jun 2025
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Programmer Humor
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There’s also ”we do machine learning”, which usually translates to ”someone trained an SVM model 10 years ago”.
Frankly, the only respectable way to do it!
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Minimum qualifications:
- master’s degree (or preferably PhD) in computer science, computer engineering, or related field.
- 15 years of experience in developing finite element modeling simulations and implementing them as embedded, real time, distributed, and multithreaded applications.
- Proficiency in the following languages: Python, C, C++, Rust, Ruby, MATLAB, Visual Basic, C#, JavaScript, R, PHP, Perl, Go, and Swift. COBOL is a plus.
The actual job
- Write an html page for our team on our website.
Qualification inflation and no other suitable opportunities.
Employers have blatantly ridiculous demands because they will find people who cater to these demands in a shit system and shit economy.
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Not knowing yourself; it's a lot like dating in that there's big dreams and ideas but the reality of what is needed on the daily often doesn't mesh. I find it helps to talk to other employees and ask about their job and roles to get an envelope of what the company actually needs vs. what they say they need.
Can't really so that with dating though!
Finding a job is like dating except if you are too picky you starve to death.
"We must first implement base functionality, then we will add all the auxiliary components."
x months pass
"Alright, base functionality has been implemented and it works. Good job team, lets ship it!"
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What's this?
The promise of Jenkins and all the much more modern CI/CD tools when the job is ultimately just maintaining an aging Jenkins server.