husband looks like if an Amish guy was super into Linkin Park
this post was submitted on 28 May 2025
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Obese woman: I AM DISPLEASED!!!
Lover number 2 scurries in, head low eyes darting around: yes milord
Obese woman: bring me 6's head on a pike, but do it... Slowly.
Lover 2: yes milord backs into the shadows quietly.
The headline seems to imply that the real news is that the "Obese woman" has FIVE lovers
You have functional eyes? Do you want anyone of those people?
You're just mad you'd never have 5 lovers
Bro, they say perpetual motion is impossible, buuuuut, see. These sciency types ain’t had a woman like her.
You just climb up on her and smack your own ass and BAM. Perpetual motion.
All you gotta do is ride the wave after that until you’re finished.
All these Charles Manson lookalikes must have learned about the perpetual motion truth and got excited enough to become love slaves to this trophy of a perpetual motion machine.
I’m telling you bro, it’s like surfing but it smells funny and you’re getting laid.
muffled "wooba wooba wooba wooba wooba" noises
Its always a huge hit to the self esteem when you see people like this with many lovers and I can't even get a date.
You can get a date, if you lower to standards to anyone. No shade, but are you looking to hit up Ms. "obese, unhygienic, multiple kid having, dirty house and stinky 🐱?" Not saying that you should, but if you accept anything, you'll get anything.
These folks aren’t interested in a date. Depraved sex is to them what collecting old video games is to me.
It’s just a hobby, and they aren’t usually picky or they can’t afford their hobby.
For a start, pretty sure none of them know what a lemmy is
One of the guys might be free. Gotta get in line for her tho ...
Two of the men have the same last name and are 26 years apart in age. Are they father and son?
Short answer: yes
Long answer: also yes.
Thanks for explaining that.
Man, I never thought about how fucked up the idea of fucking a clone that you yourself made actually is.
Bottom right had bits of Adrien Brody DNA. Bottom middle had bits of Guillermo del Toro. Husband, maybe Geico Caveman? Top two, I got nothing. Top-middle is like Wish.com Kurt Cobain, maybe. Top-right kinda looks like a former professor of mine, but that's not helpful.
Top right Ricky Gervais maybe?
I was thinking Haley Joel Osment in about 25 years.
Top right reminded me of someone, I’ve been racking my brain for the last couple of hours and finally figured it out.
Nice, good call. Also maybe this guy:
For all, that's Dennis Franz (Captain Lorenzo from Die Hard 2), not porn hedgehog Ron Jeremy, though he would be a much better example for the guys above.
Maybe guy above is a Jeremy/Franz love child
You, too, can be in a polyamorous relationship if you get on meth. Woohoo!
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