this post was submitted on 26 May 2025
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Dad Jokes

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I just couldn't concentrate.

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[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 week ago

When pressed, the boss admitted they'd hired a lemon.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 week ago

It can be hard to admit when you just don't have any zest for your work.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

Tom had always dreamed of working with fruit. Not in a weird way—he just loved the colors, the smells, the vibe. So when he landed a job at the Sunburst Orange Factory, he felt like he'd finally made it.

On his first day, Tom showed up in an all-orange tracksuit to "blend in with the product." Management was... hesitant, but they gave him a shot.

His job? Quality control. All he had to do was toss out any bad oranges. Easy.

But Tom got creative.

First, he started juggling the oranges to test their "aerodynamics." Then he claimed he could “hear” if one had too much pulp by listening to it like a seashell.

The final straw came when he tried to microwave an orange to "activate the Vitamin C" and blew out half the factory’s power grid.

The manager stormed in, red in the face. “Tom, you’re fired!”

Tom looked up from a half-peeled orange and sighed.

“Well,” he said, “at least now I’ve got time to focus on what really matters... boosting my immune system.”

Punchline: He got fired for being too extra... but at least he left with a-peeling health benefits.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Pulp......something with pulp......

Dammit! I just can't think of a pun with pulp! My brain is just freshly squeezed.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 week ago

Take your time, when it's your time on the pulpit you'll just need to concentrate and let the bad thoughts recede.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 week ago

It's the pressure. It got to you. Just drained you.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 week ago

They're always trying to squeeze people out.