5,6,9
this post was submitted on 26 May 2025
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2, 6, 9
I'd pick 9, 9, 9
5, 6 & 9
The only way
- Just 9.
2 (as long as that means I can't go past my current weight, not that every time I poop, sweat, or pee I lose weight I can never regain) 5... and I guess 9. I'm doing okay, and I've never had a strong need for "a lot of money."
5 isn't even because I want to have super strength, it's more to be able to compensate for my jacked up joints and being overweight.
I would trade any of the three of these for "cure my sleep apnea" though.
1 sounds tempting, as long as it's just the insulation, you know? I don't know a whole lot about biology, but I feel like if you immediately removed all fats from your body, your cells would just die (all the lipids disappearing). But if you could remove all the fat listed in the "body fat percentage" and made it so I could still get some fats quickly (for a healthy amount), I'd take that over 2. Once it's there, it makes it so hard to get rid of, but I feel like if it was gone in one go, I could keep it off.
Wow, my decisions for "magic pills" would be kind of depressing to 20-year-old me. At least with the exception of my health I'm reasonably content.
I only want 5 and 9.
Easy: 3x Pill No. 9 please.
One for me (depends on what "a Lot of Money" means), and the other two i will use to either: a) give to Close Friends and/or Family B) a complete Stranger from the streets C) keep in storage for my Offspring when they are in a Pinch of losing the family wealth that i built
No one says you gonna take the pills you Pick. Certainly that way you could also Take 2x No. 1 for your worst enemies (or CEOs)
2, 6 and 9.
9 would go towards building affordable housing in my area, which would make 6 happen.
2 just 'cause.
#2 is straight up torture. No matter how much you eat, you cannot stop losing weight. Your body no longer retains nutrients as it passes right through you
Depends on if the descriptions are jackass genie rules or not. If it's being genuine, it means you won't gain any excess weight beyond what's healthy. 1 and 3 seem like descriptions ripe for abuse as well.
1: Thinner!
3: You can no longer get things you need because you are unable to shop.
Excess weight is literally fat. That is how the body stores excess energy.
Not sure if you can live without any fat or not. Would have to look into it.
excess weight beyond what’s healthy
Yes I read it the first time. It's such a wild undefineable description that differs from person to person, even from environment to environment.
But you interpret the magical pill how you want. And I'll interpret it how I see fit. Deal?
It’s such a wild undefinable description that differs from person to person, even from environment to environment.
Yes, that's why it's a magic pill. I already interpreted it two different ways - if it's granting the "wish" in the spirit of the clear intent from the phrasing, it won't be harmful, but if it's being literal, you're gonna die.
"Clear intent from the phrasing"
How is "no more gain weight" clear with intent
Okay, not just phrasing, but the overall presentation. Because these pills are presented as desirable things that you can only pick 3 of, it would make no sense for any of them to be negative.
Desirable is another incredibly subjective thing don't you think?
Most of these doesn't sound desirable at all to me.
You consider them desirable because you imagine their effect as something positive.
So I wouldn't say they're presented as desirable and positive as much as you want them to be.
If the effects aren't intended to be positive, why is it asking you to choose "only 3"? You can decide they're not positive to you, but they're clearly intended to be.
Why do people play "would you rather?" Why do people play "marry, fuck, kill"?
It's fun to mix and pick options and see what others would do.
If the game was "you get all positive and negative things ever in existence" well, that just wouldn't be very interesting now would it?
It says you can't gain weight. I'm already overweight, and about max for what I can be to keep my job (military) and not totally break down. So if "can't gain weight" means this is my max weight and no matter what I do I can't go past it, that makes a comfortable hard stop for future efforts toward dieting.
I see it from a biological perspective. Weight gain is derived from absorption of nutrients. You gain and lose weight all the time. As soon as your intestines no longer hold food you are no longer absorbing nutrients and therefore are losing weight from just existing.
I cannot argue with your interpretation of a made up magical pill. I just see it from another perspective.
Perhaps you would enjoy the no fat pill more since that's how the body store excess energy.
You loved one dies, you feel happy. You are in logical despair but can't feel it.
I'll pass
You can be happy and sad at the same time. It doesn't say you can't be sad.
What number is that?
6
2 is slow death. Body always losing weight and you will no longer get it
Isn’t 8 that Jim Carrey movie?
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
Mfw when I watched it with my ex lmao
The last movie me and my ex watched together was Synecdoche, NY which basically gave him permission to toss me out like an old newspaper, since he read the message of that film as “other people are interchangeable background characters in your life.”
Everyone's going to pick 9, right?
You are now a proud citizen of Zimbabwe, you own trillions of useless bills.
Still better than none
I think some of these need clarification 😅
None please
- is just MDMA
That calls for a monkey's paw
- There's literally no more fat in your body. Your cells burst, you die immediately.
- You're not able to gain weight, but you still lose it. Every time you sweat, breathe out, go to the restroom - you lose weight. In a matter of month or two, you die from exhaustion.
- Now you can't buy groceries and really anything you want or need and are forever reliant on others to provide you with anything you didn't yourself produce.
- The height increase is achieved by all your organs instantly extending, causing internal injuries and disabilities and now many physical stresses can kill you.
- You're so strong you cannot adequately measure it, and have to be very careful not to break everything around you.
- You're always happy. You're never able to grieve, or reflect, or do anything. You've lost any reason to progress, or even really sustain yourself. You die in bliss on the streets.
- Followers are invading all of your personal life. They doxx you, follow you everywhere, try to document every moment of your existence. You cannot have peace and solitude ever again.
- You forgot your ex. You also forgot every good moment in your life you ever had together, and are left wondering what is that void in your brain. You will never know what happened. But someone, somewhere out there who is your ex will.
- Inflation came strong, and now everyone has millions upon millions of dollars. Too bad they're only worth a few rolls of toilet paper.
There are people who cannot grow or simply don't have any fat cells. It's a surprisingly debilitating condition, but you don't immediately die from it.
Fats are a normal component of any cell membrane, and if we're talking no fats whatsoever, there would be no membrane to speak of.
It's not just about the storage cells.
This is what I thought too when I read them, the last one (money) was the only one I didn't see any problems with. It made me think about the post about picking a superpower and the first comment was your side effect for using it but this was the other way around, pick your side effect haha
Oh definitely 1 then
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