Lol I own a distillery and this tracks
this post was submitted on 21 May 2025
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Apparently liquor stores make their money off of hard-core drinkers and alcoholics, so liquor ads (and liquor store employee customer support) are designed not to attract new customers but rather to make the existing customers think their level of drinking is normal and acceptable.
Excel: "1901.February.01"
Cigarette store owners genuinely surprised that you're still alive every time you come in.
"I didn't realize it was possible to cough up your pancreas".
Deadass
I mean, my local liquor store is close enough we could be considered neighbors and I regularly get suggestions based on my taste.
My parents don't tell me I'm living wrong, but it seems to be the basis of every religion someone tries to sell me.
Wait, what?
Best friends with the liquor store owner
No, no. The GIF. I thought that was a painting. What is going on?
First time I've seen it animated as well haha
These kids today don't know Predator?!
[....i..............................] <- my lawn
^ you
"Dillon! You son of a bitch!"
Majestic slap that can be heard across the universe
Drag was so surprised when drag watched Predator.
It's from the movie Predator.
If you want to see what it would look like if the anthropomorphic incarnation of testosterone itself wrote, directed, and acted in a movie, then look no further. It's so full of vitamin-T your voice will drop an octave while watching it, and your unborn grandkids will go into puberty next week.
Dillon! You son of a bitch!
Got you pushing too many pencils, Dillon!
"I ain't got time to bleed"
Sexual Tyrannosaurus
Two governors in one movie. Not sure what that says, but it's nothing good.
~~Look up the Arnie flick "Commando". It aged badly in a hilarious way.~~
Actually this is from Predator. Also worth a watch.
I'm a recovering alcoholic with close to 30 years sobriety now ..... and the idea of drinking excessive amounts of any liquid will always be funny to me now ... or to want to drink liquids like some sort of ritual.
If you drink 6 litres of beer in a day in front of others and get blind drunk ... you're a party animal
If you drink 6 litres of water in a day in front of people ... you're a weirdo
Or you can sit at a dark dingy bar and sip on scotch or whisky for hours on an afternoon and it's normal
But if you sit in a dark dingy bar and sip on a glass of orange juice for hours on an afternoon ... people think there's something wrong with you.
Nah, I think that's just a writer. Or some sort of Avant Garde artist
I knew a guy that drank so much carrot juice his hands were yellow/orange. He was weird
His wife was probably having an affair
Arnold never could kick his Seaweedies habit I guess.
I knew a guy that drank so much hard liquor his liver turned into a prune and he died
Because you would be a Fantaic.
Because you’d be diabetic