Ask Lemmy

Does this forget that intrusive thoughts exist for everyone and generally most people would assume it was just that?

"nah, don't tell the humans, it would just cause panic and there's nothing they can do anymore"

Ok for real chaos

To all the women: "This is God. For eons, women have been subjugated. Women are the superior gender, take your rightful places on the throne"

To all the minorities, "This is God. You are the superior race, take your rightful places on the throne"

To all the men "This is God, I have made men rightful rulers for eons, do not give it up so lightly. Take back what it is rightfully yours"

To all the majorities, "This is God. Defend your homes against the invaders. They are wolves in sheep's clothing"

And of course, randomize it slightly, so a few men get the women's message, some women get the men's message, etc. Really play into the faction angles.

My message is in stereo. In the right ear, a booming, authoritative voice saying "Question everything, don't trust authority, the God you believe in might not be real."

In the left ear, a serpentine voice telling them to trust their religious leaders, you don't know much yourself, you can't trust your logic, you have to have faith.

I would find it irresistible to do, "So long, and thanks for all the fish."

WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!

Geico could save you 15% or more on car insurance. Keep honking to save 1% per second.

If it's just a thought and not a phrase or words that has to be translated or anything ... and an image that everyone could understand ... I'd go with the standard ...

Imagine everyone all over the world seeing this thought all at once and everyone confirming what they saw among themselves and everyone else everywhere ... everyone confirming the same image across languages, countries, regions, religions, rich, poor, literate, illiterate.

A bonus would be to have the alien say something in a language and voice that absolutely no one on the planet could possibly understand.

Then repeat the broadcast for five seconds once a day, every day.

“Fire!”

I once sent a dozen of my friends a telegram saying 'flee at once - all is discovered.' They all left town immediately.
― Mark Twain

Nobody is who they seem to be

OR

Everything is food

“You just lost The Game.”

"You will expire in 30 days."

Retain the ambiguity across all translations.

"There is no Heaven or Hell. The only Paradise is that which you create for others by your own hand. And you are failing."

"Did you just switch it to broadcast? Fuck, turn it off!"

"Hey guys, sorry, I had to step away for a bit. What did you guys do!? Now I have to start all over again. I'll put you guys in the archives along with all the other ones, play nice!"

"go drain your bank account"

"YOU ARE MY CHOSEN DISCIPLE. GO FORTH AND SLAY THE NON-BELIEVERS IN MY NAME."

Don't even say who you are. Everyone will just assume it's the god they already believe in. And everyone who doesn't believe in a god would start questioning everything.

The government has been secretly tracking everyone's farts since 1998. The next one you release will trigger your official ranking on the Global Flatulence Leaderboard. visible to everyone.

General strike til Trump is no longer president

"Remember you'll die."

I'm not a troublemaker so it would have to be for a good reason... and how I wish I could shake people out of their stupor and there's no better way than to consider your own mortality, as it puts things into perspective.

"You've been right all along"

"This is not you, this is god, you are the new messiah like my son Jesus before you. It is up to you to right all that's gone wrong in my world. Many will come forward and say that they received this message but do not be fooled for that is Satan trying to defeat you."

Then I get popcorn and watch the whole world burn.