Protestant Twitter is fucking wild as always.
I just draw a fully detailed sigil of baphomet. better jam coverage
this post was submitted on 11 May 2025
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I just draw a dick and suck it off the toast, then give you a slightly soggy plain toast
I do this every time
Dear Protestants:
You claim Satan is written in jam, but Satan eats Cheez-Whiz.
Checkmate bibloids
Hi, atheist here. This guy seems pretty cool. 
If you eat the Satan toast, will you die?
:the-pope: It would be extremely painful!
You're a big pontiff
4 you
I don't get the big deal? Mr. Satan is a chump
I haven't had people spread butter and jam on toast, then hand the toast to me since I moved out of my parents house 15 years ago
I do about twice a year. There’s a diner that keeps their prices really low and are only open from 5-9:30am every day because their regulars are all people who have been going there since the 50’s. I doubt they’re spreading satanic jam on my shit but I hope they are that’d be rad.
I write the summoning symbols of Dābbah min al-Arḍ encircled by the phases of the moon.
it takes me like 15 minutes to make toast, but it's worth it to know a portal to the foetid outer darkness will open in their mind and life their mind to dark and distant shores.
get rekt Sunday brunch losers.
Wait shit I thought we were doing doodles of the good kid maad city cover art sorry folks
I'm going to start putting political messages into the food not bombs dishes now, thanks for the idea protestant twitter!
Would anyone like a sandwich that subliminally tells them to read theory?
Would anyone like a sandwich that subliminally tells them to read theory?
sure why not, worth a shot
So many questions:
- So, once it has been in the SATAN configuration the jam is always evil?
1b. If that's the case, After an evil toast has been digested, does it mean the poo is also evil?
1c. If an evil poo is used to fertilize crops, are the crops evil?
1d. etc. - If you spell out SATAN on your toast, but you use too much jam, so you scrape some off and smear it on a different piece of toast, is the second toast evil?
- If you spell out SATAN on your toast, but the toast happened to have Jesus' likeness on it, do they cancel out, or is that extra blasphemous?
- What if you use two different jams, like STN in raspberry and AA in strawberry?
- What if you split SATAN across two pieces of toast?
5b. If yes, what if you eat them in the wrong order? - Why do I enjoy overthinking inherently non-sensical bullshit so much...
It works like holy water, if at least 51% of a glob of jam is Satan jam, the whole glob becomes Satan jam
- Yes it actually does transfer in this way. In fact it gains more power through potentization. That's why this is so dangerous.
- Evil is in fact transferable in this way. It's important not to have any atheists in the production chain because of this. One could write Satan on some toast, scrape it back into the factory vat of jam, now you've got a massive problem on your hands.
- It depends on the order things are added and the relative power levels of the appliers. So two people of neutral power one puts Jesus on the toast it is holy, then one puts Satan on there it becomes unholy, but if the first person is like a pastor or something and the second one is some rando it could remain holy (though in a weakened state). After being marked with Satan you can counter it though by rubbing a cross all over your food. This is why you should always say grace at restaurants it helps dispell atheist induced evil.
- Sounds ritualistic to me, would probably increase the evil power.
- This also sounds ritualistic but puts some of the weight on the eater. So if eaten in the right order it would increase the evil but eaten in the wrong order disrupts the ritual. Probably not a sure fire safeguard though.
- When Satan is in the mix there is no such thing as overthinking.
As an Atheist, I wouldn't just write satan and smear it. I would write the names of many gods and see if anyone has a sudden epiphany.
Make sure to write Ereshkegal's name on my toast then!
What's wrong with writing the accusative singular form of the Esperanto word for "satiated" on a piece of toast‽ I just want you to have a good meal!!
I guess it comes off as a bit pushy? What if I just wanted to have a satisfactory meal and not a good meal?
It's so funny to imagine a pastor carefully writing "SATAN" in jam on his bread for some internet attention
it's giving religious OCD
why would atheists believe in satan?
Satanists are by and large atheists, the cool ones are also left anarchists, the uncool ones are randians
they think everyone believes in god and we just lie that we don't
Because according to God's ~~belt~~ fearing people of the good book, atheists aren't actually atheists but agents of the devil sent to earth to spread satanic mortal sins and blasphemy to make more people fall to the dark side.
Just to own the christos.
I for sure take my jar of jam and knife in the word Satan on the toast, then spread around my creation just to fool unsuspecting, pure Christians. I giggle as a part of their soul is sent to hell with each unholy bite.
What's the split between you and the devils of hell on the extracted soul drops from each victim?
I just do it for the love of the game. The devil can keep his souls
I can’t believe that this is serious…also, where is the butter?
In this house we go in dry to truly appreciate the flavor of the grains, nuts, and fruits within the freshly sliced and toasted bread!
We don’t normally have seeded bread, but next time I have the oppurtunity I’m going to do it your way.
Make sure to be really hydrated and take your time chewing the bread until your saliva really starts making the bread taste sweeter than it initially was. It's easier if it's a thicker slice of bread that's fluffy on the inside.
True but I'm usually referring to this guy
I'm usually referring to one of the Kasekela males who fought in the Gombe Chimpanzee War
I mean, yeah I secretly do this every time I offer toast to Christians, but like why is it even a big deal? It’s stupid, just eat the toast. Don’t even worry about it. Just eat the toast. Eat the toast.
🔥☠ Ẻ̶͙̑̄́̈́A̸̺͗́̈́T̷̨̧̢̯͉̏̿̉͝ ̴̫͛̀̀T̸͎͖́̓͌Ḧ̴̭̺̠͉́̇͝È̷̛̘͓̺͂̂͜ ̷̤̫́̎T̶͔̔͆O̶̼͇͖̫̲̽́̿A̴̜̮͋̔͜Ṣ̵̼̜͔̒̐̀͝T̸͍͉̥̓̐̇͝͝ ☠🔥
If you're a Christian and you believe the "SATAN" toast poses some sort of threat to your immortal soul, then I'm sorry but you're doing idolatry.
Think it's a bit hard to write letters if your jam comes in a jar and you gotta spoon it out?
I think that's just adding a bit of challenge to spreading the word and love of sweet Oblivion to the many lambs of Luther.
Ah, that’s the plot twist, this is actually BBQ sauce.
Ah guck fucj fuck that's horrid!
They make squeeze to dispense containers for jam, sort of like ketchup bottles.
Mmm, French fries and jam.
Boo real atheists master the butter knife blade and write Satan's name in cursive to own the lambs of Luther!