this post was submitted on 02 May 2025
1301 points (98.9% liked)

Not The Onion

16301 readers
855 users here now

Welcome

We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!

The Rules

Posts must be:

  1. Links to news stories from...
  2. ...credible sources, with...
  3. ...their original headlines, that...
  4. ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”

Please also avoid duplicates.

Comments and post content must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.

And that’s basically it!

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 weeks ago

Ah, so that's where I'll find my Super Samples.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 3 weeks ago

THE PROPHECY!

[–] [email protected] 5 points 3 weeks ago

I’m so tired of this ‘will-they won’t they’

[–] [email protected] 11 points 3 weeks ago

I always thought "D.C." meant "District of Columbia." TIL from the combination of your username and post that it means "Dildo, Canada."

Kind of a weird name for the capital of an entirely different country.

[–] [email protected] 23 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

I am kind of disappointing this is actually from 2023 though! It needs to cum again.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 3 weeks ago

The phallus iceberg always rises again it seems (accounting for shrinkage).

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 weeks ago

Conception hahahahha

[–] [email protected] 13 points 3 weeks ago

Fake news! The entire iceberg does not look like a dick.

It’s just the tip.

😶‍🌫️

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 weeks ago

everything reminds me of her

[–] [email protected] 10 points 3 weeks ago

We're gonna need a bigger M&M's tube....

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 weeks ago
[–] [email protected] 36 points 3 weeks ago

Everything reminds me of him 😞

[–] [email protected] 7 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Alas, the iceberg lacked staying power: Pretty photographed the 30-foot (9.1 meter) phallic structure on Thursday, April 27. It collapsed the next day.

Hate it when that happens.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

If your iceberg lasts more than 3 days, consult a physician

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 weeks ago

And maybe a physicist.

They'd probably like to know. They are very kinky like that.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Quite the opposite effect of what happens to me in the cold!

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 weeks ago

"It shrinks..?!"

[–] [email protected] 0 points 3 weeks ago

This wouldn't be an onion article

[–] [email protected] 8 points 3 weeks ago (3 children)

What kinda coincidence is this? I feel like someone must've sculpted it.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 weeks ago

My family is from nearby. Unironically hundreds of icebergs a year pass that area. It was honestly a matter of time.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 weeks ago

I feel the same way. I know exactly nothing about ice sculpting, and after typing this I guess I try google... what did the article call it? Sobmething that made me think chunks of glacier is otherwise normal near the coast of Dildo.

But that just seems like an extremely well place dick joke. That someone or multiple people risked their lives to pull on. Off.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 weeks ago

And that person was {insert favorite prophet or just someone you hold in high regard}.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 9 points 3 weeks ago

"Hey, it's cold out here!"

That said, I'm somewhat in awe of your standards given its thirty foot tall height.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 weeks ago (3 children)
[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 weeks ago

Yeah, first thing I thought was "Wait - again?!?". That would have been one hell of a coincidence.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 3 weeks ago

I'm glad they posted it, cause I've never seen it before

[–] [email protected] 11 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

So? I found it today and the time doesn't make it less funny.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 weeks ago

That is, uh, also, what she said.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Damn good find.
Jolly damn good find.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 weeks ago

That's, umm, what she said.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 weeks ago

It was dildestiny

load more comments
view more: next ›