this post was submitted on 23 Apr 2025
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And Finally...

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An unusual startup announced the world's first sperm race -- a race involving actual sperm -- will be held April 25 at the Hollywood Palladium in Los Angeles.

Sperm Racing, a startup founded by a team of young millionaires, announced representatives from two competing schools -- the University of Southern California and the University of California, Los Angeles -- will provide the microscopic swimmers for the inaugural Sperm Race.

The race will take place under a microscopic camera that will track the progress of the sperms as they attempt to cross to the finish line.

The startup said there will be three races held to determine the overall winner, and play-by-play commentary will be provided during each heat. There will also be instant replays, leaderboards and betting through approved partners.

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[–] xorollo@leminal.space 4 points 4 weeks ago

What is the finish line?

[–] BmeBenji@lemm.ee 4 points 4 weeks ago

Men will do anything except go to therapy

[–] BeardedGingerWonder@feddit.uk 6 points 4 weeks ago

Something something something he always cums first.

[–] Anomalocaris@lemm.ee 8 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)

finally, they found a sport where Trans women have an advantage over cis women.

[–] Zip2@feddit.uk 13 points 4 weeks ago

Have any of the competitors pulled out?

[–] Shou@lemmy.world 6 points 1 month ago

So this is where the harvest from the georgian egg farm ended up.

[–] tetris11@feddit.uk 9 points 1 month ago

That's not fair, he juiced his swimmer with RedBull and zinc before the race!

[–] NutinButNet@hilariouschaos.com 9 points 1 month ago

I have so many questions that I think are best left unanswered.

[–] Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world 25 points 1 month ago

There will also be instant replays, leaderboards and betting through approved partners.

God damn DraftKings! Is there anything you won't host betting on???

[–] Emperor@feddit.uk 13 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Pull the other one, it's got bells on.

[–] idiomaddict@lemmy.world 4 points 1 month ago

Found the Morris dancer