this post was submitted on 16 Apr 2025
732 points (98.2% liked)

Not The Onion

16291 readers
326 users here now

Welcome

We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!

The Rules

Posts must be:

  1. Links to news stories from...
  2. ...credible sources, with...
  3. ...their original headlines, that...
  4. ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”

Please also avoid duplicates.

Comments and post content must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.

And that’s basically it!

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
(page 2) 30 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] D_C@lemm.ee 60 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Article title is incorrect:

Parents of daughter who they murdered through negligence meet with some dumb cunt to blame everyone but themselves. And they'll do it again.

There, fixed.

[–] PenguinMage@lemmy.world 7 points 1 month ago

Concise & to the point I would love you to write headlines for news articles!

[–] hdnsmbt@lemmy.world 110 points 1 month ago

'She was my little girl,' he says softly. 'And they let her down.'

Killing your kid by negligence and then playing the victim. Disgusting.

[–] possiblylinux127@lemmy.zip 42 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (3 children)

On the one hand I feel like no parent should have to lose there child. That'd a terrible loss that hits really really deep.

On the other hand WTF. Your kid dies because you didn't vaccinate them and you meet with RFK Jr.? Your kid died because you were mislead. Honestly with all the crazy misinformation I can't necessarily blame them but you would think the loss of your own child would be a pretty big wake up call.

'She did not die of the measles,' he said of his daughter, Daisy. 'If there's one thing you should know, it's that. She was failed.'

After his visit, RFK Jr wrote on X: 'The most effective way to prevent the spread of measles is the MMR vaccine.'

[–] Ledericas@lemm.ee 9 points 1 month ago

its the same thing like the wife of the firefighter wanted attention from trump only when her husband was shot dead, and ignored biden condolences.

[–] Davin@lemmy.world 29 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Well they certainly can't blame themselves now, imagine how much pain it would cause them to realize the truth.

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] Punchshark@lemmy.ca 10 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Can't fix stupid! And it's a murican trait!

[–] opus86@lemmy.today 9 points 1 month ago

Well, if their stupid behavior kills them, it's a problem that fixes itself.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] Brunbrun6766@lemmy.world 50 points 1 month ago (4 children)

"Mennonites" while the husband is dressed like a completely modern dude probably works a normal job and does whatever the fuck he wants while his slave wife stays home and raises the kids

[–] nokturne213@sopuli.xyz 24 points 1 month ago (2 children)

dressed like a completely modern dude

Complete with the douchebag sunglasses sitting on the brim of the hat.

[–] Squizzy@lemmy.world 1 points 1 month ago (5 children)

There is a wrong way to wear hats and glasses now?

load more comments (5 replies)
[–] possiblylinux127@lemmy.zip 2 points 1 month ago (1 children)

This looks like they guy behind a giant sales company

[–] Brunbrun6766@lemmy.world 5 points 1 month ago

Does it? Looks like bubba fuck up who's still doing used car sales in his hometown to me.

load more comments (3 replies)
[–] huppakee@lemm.ee 5 points 1 month ago

Imagine you kill a kid and you actually get the parents to show up for a photo-op so you can show the world they don't blame you and they just go along with all the lies you have been telling and everything goes fine really.

[–] brucethemoose@lemmy.world 49 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (4 children)

Mennonites skewed anti vax before it was trendy, like a long time ago. Old religious vaccine exemptions were basically for them, IIRC.

Like, I remember hearing about these folks when I was in school in Texas.

What I’m getting at is that they're not quite the same as MAGA-zone vaccine skepticism. There’s some overlap, but they're more old school and broad than that, with a more general technology-hesitant slant, while MAGA skepticism seems more driven by social media and influencers.

[–] possiblylinux127@lemmy.zip 7 points 1 month ago (1 children)

MAGA skepticism is more about attention grabbing publicity and gathering loyal voters.

[–] brucethemoose@lemmy.world 6 points 1 month ago

Yeah, it skips the religious purism (and the sometimes very real attempt at pondering deep morality), and goes straight to modern attention hacking mixed with timeless demagoguery and conspiratorial urges.

That’s what I’m getting at. I empathize more with old school religious communities acting this way… to some extent. Some transcripts in the article are not very flattering.

[–] Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world 3 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Like, I remember hearing about these folks when I was in school in Texas.

You realize that none of have any context for that, right? You could have been in school in Texas 3 years ago. Or it could have been in 1965. We don't have any clue.

That being said, I fully agree with your overall post. I'm just nitpicking.

[–] brucethemoose@lemmy.world 2 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Fair point. I’m a millennial, how about that :P

[–] otp@sh.itjust.works -4 points 1 month ago (2 children)

So did you graduate from college last year? PhD, or reskilling? Following a passion?

(Still not enough info to know when it was! Haha)

[–] Zagorath@aussie.zone 2 points 1 month ago (3 children)

The youngest Millennials graduated school in about 2014 or 2015 at the latest. There's no way, in context, they're talking about a PhD, and very, very little chance they're even talking about undergrad university.

load more comments (3 replies)
[–] Fondots@lemmy.world 18 points 1 month ago (1 children)

By and large, Mennonites do skew pretty crazy and conservative in a lot of ways, but I think it's worth pointing out that there can be a tremendous amount of variation from one church/community to another, there's not much in the way of a larger overarching organization, a lot of policies, beliefs, interpretations and such are sorted out at the local level.

Some Mennonite churches are practically indistinguishable from the Amish, but there are some around that are very liberal. I live in an area with a pretty large Mennonite population, and the churches kind of run the entire gamut from horse and buggies to some of the most modern and liberal churches I've ever heard of.

They do, like I said, tend to skew more towards the conservative end of things, but there is a lot of variation there.

[–] brucethemoose@lemmy.world 4 points 1 month ago

Yes, very true. I've kinda seen that in other states.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] PattyMcB@lemmy.world 3 points 1 month ago

He should legally change his name to Joseph Goebbels

[–] cabron_offsets@lemmy.world 14 points 1 month ago

Fucking moron cunts.

[–] Subtracty@lemmy.world 21 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Punchable faces (aside from the child of course)

[–] HowAbt2morrow@futurology.today 13 points 1 month ago

That kid is gonna be punchable real soon if a preventable disease doesn’t do it in.

[–] Gingerlegs@lemmy.world 10 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Arm around the guy who did it, lol

load more comments