Welcome to Programmer Humor!
This is a place where you can post jokes, memes, humor, etc. related to programming!
For sharing awful code theres also Programming Horror.
There are two kinds of meetings: decision meetings and update meetings. Update meetings are bullshit time sinks designed to validate the complete chain of command. Decision meetings are where something tangible is determined.
The former is the vast bulk of meetings. The latter is a rarity, and sometimes only possible after fully satiating the beast that is the former.
So your PM is useless too? I feel like updates can be useful if others then go and help each other out with things.
Sysadmins too
I just don't understand why they apologize.
They could probably write "You're welcome." and get a bunch of thank yous back.
Me
I have gotten a couple meetings to be something we 'skip by default' where we keep it on the calendar but someone only starts the meeting if they actually need something.
Dramatically cut down on meetings without any problems so far. Now it's just occasional and way shorter because we get straight to business and then drop the call.
Sounds like it would drive some socialites insane.
I love it.
One of the first things my new boss did was to cancel the daily standup meetings that were enforced by the previous management. God, what a great decision. I'm finally getting shit done instead of having to talk and endure bullshit every day.
I call it the numbing hour. It's only scheduled as a half hour but it always runs for nearly an hour. I never speak for more than two minutes, I just stand there as my motivation to do literally anything for the rest of the day burns down to zero. Sometimes I wake up 110% motivated with a list of stuff I can't wait to get done, fortunately the numbing hour is first thing everyday ensuring that I am always fully neutralized.
At least you have until the end of the day to (try to) regain some motivation. My daily is currently at the 10am. Smack dab in the middle of the morning.
Not when you're working from home and being a dad at the same time. Got my kids nap times aligned with meetings. "Oh, sorry to cancel last minute"
Fuck me, I gotta align this shit all over again tomorrow.
But...it's canceled, not rescheduled for a different time that day. You just have free time. I don't understand how that affects other timing.
It doesn't but trying to perfectly time your kids nap to the meeting time (she's still young and needs at least 2) usually results in a really cracky kid at some point.
Sleep is important and I try not to fuck with it when I can. So doing that when someone just cancels 10 minutes prior is frustrating and usually means I woke her up early from a nap previously to get on a good time sync.
Rescheduling to a different time that day is less bad because I can more easily keep her up another 30-40 minutes depending on the time of the day.
Basically if it's a completely different day it means she's cranky back to back days.
Making programmers attend meetings should be considered a hate crime.
Which is worse: forcing a programmer to attend daily meetings, or forcing them to work in an "open plan" office? If I had to choose one or the other, I would choose to go work on a garbage truck.
Forcing programmers into an office at all should be enough to get a manager dragged before the ICJ on charges of crimes against humanity
but the collaboration!
Ah, the collaboration of millionaire fuckheads making the rest of us suffer. How ever will they be able to afford their private jet to Dubai?
A daft conversation interrupting your stressed out mind might inspire new and creative solutions though. Like a mountain cabin with a well stocked pantry.
yes luigi them
You, sir, understand me
daily meetings in an open plan office. Been there done that
Scrum is just something I have to endure in order to get paid to program. The worst is when you're working on something hard and your status hasn't changed substantially from the previous day. "I did a bunch of things that didn't pan out, so I only really have an expanding list of things that are not the problem. No, assigning someone to help me is unlikely to resolve the issue faster."
"no, having a meeting about it won't help, it will just waste my time that I could be using to figure out the problem."
I had a manager years ago who viewed his involvement in problem-solving as a variant of the rubber duck solution. I always wanted to tell him to his face that he was accurate, in the sense that he brought about as much to the table as an actual rubber duck.
At least you're getting assigned a human. My boss' new habit is to print out what chatGTP thinks about the problem I'm working on, if i take too long solving it...
My boss does this constantly and it has never once helped. Infuriating.
ouch, that is a hell that may one day await us all.
I wonder if the boss will be replaced by the machine entirely by then
Ohhh I got that too recently!
Yeah that sounds awful. Fortunately corporate policies prohibit putting our technical data into AIs.
Here here!
I love meetings about the general idea and concept of a project that takeip the "doing" timeof the single person that will do the work.