Ask Lemmy

I fart exclusively in elevators and crowded busses. Join me!

Don't have to deal with this anymore, because mine are all at least tweenage.

It's a balancing act, and sometimes running around a little is fine this day in this space, but not another day in a similar space.

I'm not going to act like I've never given my kids an iPad to keep them quiet for a while, but it would be refreshing to see MORE kids playing trains and Hot Wheels instead of sitting in front of a screen.

It's much harder for the kids to create their own fun when a device just spews nonstop entertainment at then. Why use your own imagination, when there's always someone else's available to watch, play, listen to?

There's a HUGE gray area between "children should be silent and invisible" and "HOW DID YOU GET ON THE ROOF OF WALMART?!?". Neither of those extremes are good, and sometimes, as parents we learn during or afterwards that maybe this wasn't the best place to play Hot Wheels. But a lot of the time, it's not hurting anyone.

The author admits to have let their kids, who are 2yo and 4yo roam free in restaurants to the point they have ended up in the kitchen, that right there tells you how responsible of a parent she is and how good of an approach hers is.

I understand the thought process and agree to a point - kids are definitely on too tight of leashes these days.

That said, everything I read in that article tells me that the author is a fucking horrible parent and I wouldn't want to ever be in 1000 feet of her demons.

Yes, your kids should have some freedom. No, they shouldn't actively be bothering everyone around them every moment they're out of the house. Teach them respect and kindness, too.

My questions to the author would be:

"what happens when your kids get hurt because they were someplace kids weren't expected to be, or doing something they weren't expected to be doing?" Do you, the parent, rush to their aid and castigate the adult that was near them or that was the initial cause of the physcial harm? Do you apologize to the adult instead? How about if they break things? Do you immediately open your wallet and start handing out cash or do you fall back on "they're just kids" and let others shoulder the burden of property loss because your choices?

Our 5 kids are grown, but there’s no way in hell I’d have let them run wild. When parents do that, it is one of the most annoying things about going places in public. It seems every time we go to eat someplace, a family with a gaggle of rowdy kids gets seated immediately near us.

I'm a parent and do not agree with this approach. Everyone should behave in public - and kids should practice so they can learn. At home, my kids get to behave like animals and we do things where they can behave like kids, like trampoline park, zoo, the arcade, etc. When we are out at places where the kids should behave, we bring them iPads and headphones so they are able to make it through the activity. But it is just rude to let your kid intrude and ruin a dinner, museum, movie, etc for others.

Some of these seem fine, some of them not so fine. Letting kids run around at a restaurant? I'd call that not fine. Other people are paying to be there and they probably don't want to deal with your kids running around and past their table. The concerns about servers tripping over them are real, even if it's not actually happening. I suspect the servers would prefer not to have to dodge someone's kids to prevent that from happening.

The fountain? Not a problem, no one was being inconvenienced there, no one was paying to be there and having their time disrupted. They weren't creating a dangerous situation.

The barbecue? Not a problem, they were invited, presumably by someone who understands what they're getting into, and they can be uninvited, or not invited next time if it's a problem.

Bottom line is, there's places where it's appropriate to let your kids run around and be wild, and there's places where it's not, and if your kids aren't capable of not doing it in places where it isn't appropriate, that's a problem.

Just look at any public restroom, where the sinks are too high for them to reach

Well, maybe your two-year-old isn't entitled to low sinks in a public restroom not specifically designed for children (e.g. at a school)? That shit costs money, why would they install low sinks just so kids who amount for a tiny percentage of the users can use them without parental assistance?

An unintended side effect of making backyards a luxury item, public spaces a pay-to-play, and community playgrounds homeless shelters

Letting children run around is fine as long as they are well-behaved.