Correctly highlight when a programmer is being assumptive as a brick, even when assumptions are one of the biggest sins in programming. Done, you've triggered a lot of programmers.
Programmer Humor
Welcome to Programmer Humor!
This is a place where you can post jokes, memes, humor, etc. related to programming!
For sharing awful code theres also Programming Horror.
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Insist they index from 1. Like God and Fortran intended it. ;)
Fuck C and it's lazy shit pointer arithmetic array indexing shortcut. I.e. you just add the index × size(t) to the array pointer.
Bounds checking? We've heard of it.
It's fast though.
Like riding a motorcycle in a tee shirt and shorts.
And sun glasses, don't forget the aviators.
While Mr "I can't code without a garbage collector" is still putting on his backplate of "oh no pointers are bad" and a duck typed full face helmet, to ride his interpreted moped, the big boys, Mr C-ool and Mr ASSembly, are already downing grain alcohol at the finish line.
But then again I really don't like to step out of my embedded RTOS bubble. It really depends on what you want to accomplish and how complicated your system is.
And Lua!
And Julia!
Write spaghetti code and don't listen to advice telling you to improve
I have this great idea for an app, we can go 70/30 on it! 70 for me because the idea is the hardest part after all. So basically it's Twitter plus Facebook plus Tinder with a built in MMO. You can get that done in a couple weeks, should be pretty easy right?
I thought the joke here was that your unbalanced parentheses would make me angry (they did))
... is that not the point of the title?
Figure out if they prefer spaces or tabs, insist on the other.
Please note this won't work on Pythonistas as they've already had their spirit thoroughly broken.
What if you use tabs for indentations and space for alignment?
It's alright... but have you considered spaces for indentation and tabs for alignment?
Uh, that would be infuriating to see. (Yes, I can see tabs in KDE Kate)
A haiku for you:
Tabs or four spaces
Never a semicolon
Broken in spirit
Html is a programming language.
short variable names, and the only vowel is 'i'
I inherited an old Japanese codebase. Tons of stuff was just single-letter variables. Apparently, this used to be at least somewhat common here. I spent a lot of time just updating code to replace vars with something meaningful (and found bonus bugs due to improper scoping with same var names as a bonus). Didn't have an IDE that would easily do it for me at the time and running something like sed
felt too risky.
skibidi = 42
You guys are too slow, we need to hire more of you and let the sales teams use AI to add features the client asks without waiting for you.
AI can code now, in 2 mins I can create an app, so it shouldn’t take you long to make changes to this 10year old product.
Replace a semicolon (;) with a Greek Question mark (;), provided they're working in a language that uses semicolons at the end of every line, and their IDE doesn't highlight the difference (which some do now)
Fun fact, Rust has a special error message for this:
Unicode character ';' (Greek Question Mark) looks like a semicolon, but it is not.
It also detects other potentially confusing Unicode characters, like the division slash which looks like /
.
"we're just trying to display why is this so hard? It's a ten minute job!"
"It's already in the demo you guys just did so why do you need weeks to make it?"
Make them stand up.
You have no power here! I use a standing desk.