this post was submitted on 02 Mar 2024
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I once got food delivered to a work site and it took like 15 minutes of go the last mile. Slowly walking all the way up the entrance drive to this place (it was a museum on the waterfront with like 1/2 mile of driveway before the parking lot) turns or he blew a tire and decided to walk it the last mile because he was almost there.
I felt so bad. He should've just looked after himself... I'm guessing the app would've punished him with a suspension or something if he failed to deliver though. Wanted to tip more after all that, but there was no option to posthumously raise the tip in app and I wasn't carrying cash.
Guess that's what happens when your boss is a robot.
He should've just looked after himself... I'm guessing the app would've punished him
Unfortunately, that is a possibility. I used to doordash, canceling an order before you pick up the food is NBD, but canceling after you have picked it up is likely at least a strike against the dashers account.
Posthumously....so he died? Rip loyal delivery driver
The food kinda died
The request ended, may it rest in peace
The Deliverator belongs to an elite order...
Obviously, don't forget to tip.
"Here's a tip, kid: you can tear off a shirt sleeve to form a crude tourniquet!"
[grabs bag and walks away]
Is this real?
Nah. That account posts a lot of “app features” like this as a joke.
thank you. i really should have picked that up by the “send flowers” upsell. can you imagine? in a unlikely set of circumstances, the additional option to have said flowers delivered could trigger a rather unfortunate infinite loop.
Yeah you can pay a little extra to get them cremated
Eww no I already tipped them 20%
Thanks for nearly waking my parents up with loud laughter
Next time don't masturbate in their bed.
Why are they laughing in your parent's house?! That seems a little concerning.
I read that early on there was a bug and you could get them cremated without them being in an accident.
Ah yes, the orbital laser bug
Bold of them to assume the door-dasher can afford hospital
Welp, better put them out of their misery
"Packaging was damaged and there were several blood stains on it. Driver didn't even say 'Hi', just laid there. Rude and unacceptable! 1/5 *"
Door dash: "Sorry about your negative experience, here's a $1.27 refund on your $46.77 order. Also, don't forget to send flowers to your dasher's hospital room!"
Worst delivery everr
DoorCrash
Crashdash
First chapter of Snowcrash
I tried reading this recently... only made it through a few chapters. Something about the writing style made it hard for me to see the story in my minds eye
The lead character being Hero Protagonist gives away the tongue in cheek style.
It's worth reading for the first ideas of "the metaverse " but plotwise you don't need to finish it.
Floordash
Roadrash
feels very slapdash
Did he send flowers?
Yeah, ordered another doordasher to deliver it
The flowers were delivered by Doordash The victim arrived in an Uber ambulance.
The part-time doctor (student) mentioned that the hospital's rooms are now managed by Airbnb.
250$ of tips were collected along the process, but now it's not clear who pocketed them.
But then that driver was eaten by a bear :(
Should have selected the bear repellent upsell
No, but the Doordasher realized that they can buy themself flowers
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