this post was submitted on 23 Jan 2025
293 points (97.4% liked)

Lemmy Shitpost

27567 readers
4383 users here now

Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


Rules:

1. Be Respectful


Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.

Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.

...


2. No Illegal Content


Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.

That means:

-No promoting violence/threats against any individuals

-No CSA content or Revenge Porn

-No sharing private/personal information (Doxxing)

...


3. No Spam


Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.

-If you have posted content, please refrain from re-posting said content within this community.

-Do not spam posts with intent to harass, annoy, bully, advertise, scam or harm this community.

-No posting Scams/Advertisements/Phishing Links/IP Grabbers

-No Bots, Bots will be banned from the community.

...


4. No Porn/ExplicitContent


-Do not post explicit content. Lemmy.World is not the instance for NSFW content.

-Do not post Gore or Shock Content.

...


5. No Enciting Harassment,Brigading, Doxxing or Witch Hunts


-Do not Brigade other Communities

-No calls to action against other communities/users within Lemmy or outside of Lemmy.

-No Witch Hunts against users/communities.

-No content that harasses members within or outside of the community.

...


6. NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.


-Content that is NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.

-Content that might be distressing should be kept behind NSFW tags.

...

If you see content that is a breach of the rules, please flag and report the comment and a moderator will take action where they can.


Also check out:

Partnered Communities:

1.Memes

2.Lemmy Review

3.Mildly Infuriating

4.Lemmy Be Wholesome

5.No Stupid Questions

6.You Should Know

7.Comedy Heaven

8.Credible Defense

9.Ten Forward

10.LinuxMemes (Linux themed memes)


Reach out to

All communities included on the sidebar are to be made in compliance with the instance rules. Striker

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
 
top 26 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] [email protected] 2 points 4 hours ago

Can I take 2 out of 3?

[–] [email protected] 5 points 14 hours ago (1 children)

When I turn into a Lizard, do I get a cloaca? Do I get a magnicifent tail?

[–] [email protected] 1 points 6 minutes ago

How bout a frill?

[–] [email protected] 12 points 17 hours ago* (last edited 17 hours ago) (1 children)

Don't believe this shit!
What they don't tell you:
- the erection works on female genitalia only
- you are a lizard only long enough to awkwardly shed your skin then turn right back
- you actually have to consume 5 litres of jizz to produce that 1 litre

Think before you moss!

[–] [email protected] 3 points 17 hours ago (1 children)

you actually have to consume 5 litres of jizz to produce that 1 litre

How is that a downside?

[–] [email protected] 3 points 17 hours ago* (last edited 17 hours ago) (1 children)

Yeah, you get to consume 5l, then that 1l, then the 0.25l after that, then the 0.05l, etc. It just doesn't stop.

The downside you get infinitely fat (a walking yo mamma joke). Don't forget you will wanna eat that lizard skin too.

Wait, you think very noticeably erect vaginas are a downside?

[–] [email protected] 2 points 16 hours ago* (last edited 16 hours ago) (1 children)

I'm pretty sure that series converges, it's not an infinite sum, so the cum literally has a limit.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 10 hours ago

Mathematically you are right (it's a classic (Greek maths?) joke), all cum has its limits, but moss is magic, and magic is friendship.

Idk what I'm saying here but your statement is def something that an insufficiently mossed brain would say. I'm snitching on you to the moss-furry police.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 20 hours ago (1 children)

Who's gonna tell Zucc that it only works on organic beings?

[–] [email protected] 2 points 17 hours ago

Hitler when he's in Nazi hell

[–] [email protected] 1 points 22 hours ago

After the his eyes went wondering I'm glad to finally say he's just a man

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 day ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 5 points 23 hours ago (1 children)

That's right. More cum than you can imagine.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 17 hours ago* (last edited 17 hours ago)

Thats a challenging thought, and a challenge only the brave accept.

[–] MuAraeOracle 22 points 1 day ago (2 children)

One liter! That would require his balls to be at least 12.4 cm in diameter.

He better stay hydrated!

[–] [email protected] 1 points 16 hours ago (2 children)

Each individual ball would actually be about 9.85cm, assuming they're both the same size.

https://www.wolframalpha.com/input?i=diameter+of+a+0.5L+sphere+in+centimeters

[–] MuAraeOracle 1 points 13 hours ago (1 children)

True if the goal is for the total volume should be 1 liter but men switch between balls for each ejaculation.

So the total volume should be 2 liters for it to work in our fantasy world where everything comes from the balls.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 8 hours ago

Wait what? We switch?

[–] [email protected] 2 points 15 hours ago (2 children)

The balls would be normal size because they don't produce semen, just the negligable volume that consists of the actual sperm cells.

That's why it's still possible to ejaculate normally after getting a vasectomy. Well, normally other than the normal degree of fertility.

[–] MuAraeOracle 2 points 13 hours ago

You are totally correct, but I don't let facts interfere with a good shit post (or semen post in this case).

[–] [email protected] 3 points 14 hours ago

According to Wikipedia, jizz is 2-5% sperm by volume. Assuming the mean of 3.5, that's still a 3.2cm sphere of sperm; add all the supportive tissue and germ cells surrounding it (which make up the majority of testicular volume) and that would definitely be larger than the typical 5×2×3cm ellipsoid.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 day ago (4 children)

How does one do the math on this?

[–] [email protected] 3 points 17 hours ago

It's more applied math: handjobs and beakers

[–] [email protected] 6 points 23 hours ago

volume is 4/3πr^3^

I'm not going suffer my phone keyboard further for zuccs balls.

[–] MuAraeOracle 4 points 23 hours ago* (last edited 23 hours ago)

I just brute forced with some values https://www.omnicalculator.com/math/sphere-volume

The correct way is to isolate v and solve for r

[–] [email protected] 12 points 23 hours ago

It's basic ball Math they teach it in highschool.