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Funnybot, is that you?

One of my favorite Filipino jokes:

Why didn't the priest go swimming in the ocean? Because it's salt water.

"Salt water" in Tagalog can be translated as "tubig asin," which sounds like the English "too big a sin." Many Filipino jokes rely on Tagalog and English like that.

Here's another (putting original Tagalog because it's kind of relevant):

May joke ako tungkol sa airport kaso NAIA ako eh hehe.

English:

I have a joke about the airport, but I am NAIA (Ninoy Aquino International Airport) hehe.

NAIA sounds like "nahiya," which means "shy," so it would sort of translate to "... but I was shy."

I used to work with a couple Czech dudes. One day my coworkers and I were badgering the one dude to tell us a Czech joke. He was pretty reluctant because he said he could only really think of one joke but wasn't sure it would translate well. When he finally told us the joke he got us with this masterpiece.

Two balloons are floating along, one says to the other and hey look a cactus.

All of us were confused by this, he told us it was much funnier in Czech because balloon and cactus sound similar so it's a pun. So we had him tell us the joke untranslated in Czech and balloon and cactus sound nothing alike.

I'm still not sure if this dude was fucking with us.

The pot is lauging because the boiler is black.

Québécois and a French learning Ontarian having a chat. The Ontarians goes - o look a fly, Québécois corrects him- A fly. O - wow you have good eyesight. Wregarde, un mouche- -Non, une mouche

Translated Hungarian joke:

The Székely and his son go into the forest to cut trees. When cutting a tree, the son says:

"Goodbye, my beloved father."

"Why are you saying a farewell to me?", asks the Székely.

"Because the tree is falling on you."

Oh I can do German-style comedy too, but as an American.

A Democrat and a Republican walk into a bar. They fight and both die in the hospital. Their families have to each pay $80,000 for medical expenses, then both families sue the bar. The bar closes, the owner divorces, spirals into alcoholism, and commits suicide. Then the funeral director buys a new house.

An angry Ontarian calls a radio show, and complains about all the Newfies coming to Ontario to take the good jobs. "We aughta build a wall to keep them Newfies out!"

Next call to the radio show is a newfie: "Owshegettinonb’y? Ye by's be havin' any jobs bildin tha' wall or wha'?"

(How are you doing? You guys have any jobs building that wall, or what?)

The farmer and the farmhand are out in the field working. Suddenly the sky closes in and it looks like rain. The farmhand says to the farmer: "If we don't hurry now, we'll get soaked here." The farmer says to the farmhand: "Then go into the house and get my wellies!" The farmhand says: "Why me? Why don't you get your wellies yourself?" The farmer looks at the farmhand angrily and asks: "Who’s the farmer? Who’s the Farmhand?"

The farmhand goes into the house in a rage. The farmer's wife and her pretty daughter are sitting at the kitchen table. The farmhand says to the two of them: "The farmer said you two should get naked so I can fuck you." The two women look at each other. The farmer's wife is surprised: "No, I don't believe that. The farmer would never say something like that, would he?" "Yes, he would," says the farmhand. "But I can ask again just in case." He goes to the kitchen window and opens it. The farmer's wife has followed him and is standing next to it. The farmhand shouts out into the field: "Farmer, both of them?" The farmer looks at the window and shouts back: "Both of course, you idiot!"

«done is done said the moose and walked over the river and became a reindeer.»

in norwegian done rhymes with deer, and reindeer rhymes with clean.

This is a kids pun joke that got lost in translation. Treffen can mean either to meet or to hit (like with a bullet).

Want a funny German joke? Why don't ants go to church? Because they're insects!