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Home. All my stuff and various setups are at home. I just want to be at home and be allowed to relax.
boss can still reach you at home – while you have to deal with sunburn and malaria in exotic locales, you can at least claim lack of cell coverage for not answering your coworkers’ calls about how to load toner into the printer …
Nope, I'm not going to pick up their phone calls. I would be extra obnoxious about it when (if!) I come back to the office to discourage anyone who wants to try that on anyone else. I'll tank the consequences; I got nothing to fucking lose.