Ask Lemmy

32271 readers

1516 users here now

A Fediverse community for open-ended, thought provoking questions

Rules: (interactive)

1) Be nice and; have fun

Doxxing, trolling, sealioning, racism, and toxicity are not welcomed in AskLemmy. Remember what your mother said: if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all. In addition, the site-wide Lemmy.world terms of service also apply here. Please familiarize yourself with them

2) All posts must end with a '?'

This is sort of like Jeopardy. Please phrase all post titles in the form of a proper question ending with ?

3) No spam

Please do not flood the community with nonsense. Actual suspected spammers will be banned on site. No astroturfing.

4) NSFW is okay, within reason

Just remember to tag posts with either a content warning or a [NSFW] tag. Overtly sexual posts are not allowed, please direct them to either [email protected] or [email protected]. NSFW comments should be restricted to posts tagged [NSFW].

5) This is not a support community.

It is not a place for 'how do I?', type questions. If you have any questions regarding the site itself or would like to report a community, please direct them to Lemmy.world Support or email [email protected]. For other questions check our partnered communities list, or use the search function.

6) No US Politics.

Please don't post about current US Politics. If you need to do this, try [email protected] or [email protected]

Reminder: The terms of service apply here too.

Partnered Communities:

Logo design credit goes to: tubbadu

founded 2 years ago

MODERATORS

[email protected]

106

how can I stop spiralling about my breakup? (lemm.ee)

submitted 1 day ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

82 comments fedilink hide all child comments

I know I keep posting over and over but I’m in so much pain and I have no one or nowhere to go to when I am sad. I’m trying to channel everything internally without being such a burden and annoyance to people. I keep asking myself “why didn’t he fight for me and his relationship?” “Why am I so easy to be given up on?” “Was I even special to him?” … I cannot stop crying. I feel hopeless right now. When we stopped talking for a couple days and I reached out for closure, he said not speaking for those three days makes him realize he should’ve been more appreciative of me and how hard I tried and all those things. But if he was saying those things then why not turn it around? 😔I sound like a hopeless romantic but I can’t wrap my head around anything anymore… the closure somehow made it worse I guess. I told him I forgive him for anything he thinks he did wrong. He appreciated that. I miss him so much. I miss our memories, I miss his face. Something deep down inside of me feels like I’m going to see his face again but I know that’s false reality. We never even got to talk to each other about these things in person. I just want to cry in his arms.

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments

[–] [email protected] 6 points 6 hours ago* (last edited 6 hours ago)

You sound very young so I'll answer as if I was talking to my younger self,who was in the same situation (multiple times.) The answer to your question is simply "time." How much time is in large part up to you. My advice is to cut contact with this person, or at the worst, keep contact extremely minimal (if possible.) This guy sounds like your typical clown. Probably best to just forget about him, really. Next, take a few months and just chill. Play some video games or watch movies. Reach out to some friends you haven't seen in a while. Or reach out to friends you see a lot. Get exercise. Just kick back and kinda exist for a while. Then think about getting back into the dating game. Maybe see if there's someone single you see often that interests you. Or do phone app dating or whatever.

My point is you're literally going to be fine and there is no reason to believe otherwise. Later in life you literally will not give a single fucking shit about this person or this time in your life. It will be a distant memory. And it will also serve as a learning experience for you, to take to future relationships. Experience like this is HUGE. Most people date multiple people seriously before finding their spouse or long term partner. All those people dealt with the same thing you are.