Ask Lemmy

I don't agree. I think what was originally dubbed masculine, was thinly veiled stoicism. It was a philosophical approach to how one should live a good life. It was be a hard, strong, quiet man that takes it all on the chin because you know that your work will come back and benefit you in the long run. Masculinity was akin to boomer-isms of "pulling yourself up by your bootstraps," or "work hard and you'll be rewarded."

But through the lack of social economic reforms over the last half century, there is a profound disconnect between hard work and wealth. Wealth generated passively from capital has surged, while earnings from actual hard work has dried up. Young men are not so stupid that they don't see this. So what happens when someone swoops in with seemingly a massive fortune, that is selling a new version of masculinity? He's selling a new philosophical approach to the dire economic hardship of today, and it's basically one of the gangster. The same people that idolized Al Pacino in Scarface, now, instead, worship online toxic figures selling similarly thought out get-rich quick schemes.

His philosophy could be surmised into "Use everyone around you in order to accumulate wealth."

It's really just a terrible philosophy that destroys lives, but within it, he offers the same snake-oil that most religions do, "it's not your fault." Which is the barb that sticks in people. "It's not your fault, it's XYZ (whether that's the woke or women or immigrants or whatever, it doesn't matter who they blame, so long as they blame someone else for your problems)."

So, instead of focusing on figures of true positive masculinity (Steve Irwin, Mr. Rogers, Arnold Schwarzenegger), they flock to the simpler, easier answer. They can imagine how to use people, how to sell drugs or prostitute women, because they see it depicted in movies, and think that they could do it. It's far more difficult and far more convoluted to grow into a fully realized man that values others, and works hard despite not garnering massive wealth. To live a life of charity and humility isn't sexy, and doesn't make one a millionaire. So why would they flock to it?

Fix wealth inequality, and you'll fix a LOT of issues we have today, including (I think) the rise of toxic male influencers.

There are plenty of healthy ways to perform masculinity. If all you've managed to understand from that discourse is "all masculinity is toxic" then I'm afraid you just haven't been paying attention. Toxic masculinity is when young men are taught that the only way to be a man is to be strong, outgoing, possessive, stoic, unemotional and tall (among other things). Toxic masculinity is when men that don't fit those stereotypes are beaten down, verbally, but often physically, because they don't conform. Because they're gay, have "effeminate" hobbies, are short, weak, empathetic, dress sharply, you name it. It's also harmful to women, but more than anything it's men hurting other men for nonconformance.

Btw why do we never hear about toxic femininity?

Because it's not a deeply structural societal issue? Before I transitioned, I faced the effects of toxic masculinity every single day, dozens if not hundreds of times a day. Meanwhile, yeah, my conformance to femininity has absolutely been questioned post-transition, but nowhere near as much. Women and girls have spent the last two centuries working through the toxic and smothering nature of traditional femininity, as much as the patriarchal nature of society had allowed us too.