this post was submitted on 24 Nov 2024
120 points (98.4% liked)

Ask Lemmy

27006 readers
1351 users here now

A Fediverse community for open-ended, thought provoking questions

Please don't post about US Politics. If you need to do this, try [email protected]


Rules: (interactive)


1) Be nice and; have funDoxxing, trolling, sealioning, racism, and toxicity are not welcomed in AskLemmy. Remember what your mother said: if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all. In addition, the site-wide Lemmy.world terms of service also apply here. Please familiarize yourself with them


2) All posts must end with a '?'This is sort of like Jeopardy. Please phrase all post titles in the form of a proper question ending with ?


3) No spamPlease do not flood the community with nonsense. Actual suspected spammers will be banned on site. No astroturfing.


4) NSFW is okay, within reasonJust remember to tag posts with either a content warning or a [NSFW] tag. Overtly sexual posts are not allowed, please direct them to either [email protected] or [email protected]. NSFW comments should be restricted to posts tagged [NSFW].


5) This is not a support community.
It is not a place for 'how do I?', type questions. If you have any questions regarding the site itself or would like to report a community, please direct them to Lemmy.world Support or email [email protected]. For other questions check our partnered communities list, or use the search function.


Reminder: The terms of service apply here too.

Partnered Communities:

Tech Support

No Stupid Questions

You Should Know

Reddit

Jokes

Ask Ouija


Logo design credit goes to: tubbadu


founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
 

As a shut in with social anxiety and very introverted I'm wondering how to find friends now that I got better. Basically starting from zero since I know nobody in my city so I'm wondering if someone has some experience with finding friends as lonely anxious introvert and just how other people find friends.

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[–] [email protected] 48 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Recently...they've kind of just adopted me. I'm incredibly shy, but I had been going to a little local coffee shop (just to get out of the house) and always tried to be kind and engage with the people working there when they would talk with me. I had a few really emotional weeks, and one of the owners picked up on it. She handed me a note with her number, and let me know I could always talk with her. She ended up inviting me to a little Halloween pumpkin painting night with some of her friends, and I connected with them super well! Now they invite me out to little activities, food, movie nights, etc.

That's kind of how I've meant most of the friends I've had- be kind, be interested, and be present! People get more comfortable the more they see you around, so even if you're a little shy or awkward, someone might extend a hand and bring you into their circle.

[–] [email protected] 28 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

She handed me a note with her number, and let me know I could always talk with her.

That is awesome. I wish men got this kind of support when they are showing distress in public.

edit: I should clarify, not the 'giving phone number' part, just some support. In my experience men who look like they are suffering in any way are just actively avoided.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 22 hours ago (2 children)

Never really thought of that, but it's so true how men showing distress just get avoided or ignored....

[–] [email protected] 4 points 11 hours ago

Or actively ridiculed

[–] [email protected] 4 points 12 hours ago

Men are always expected to "man up" when dealing with any difficulty, especially emotional ones. Western social culture (values?) is a fucking mess