Ask Lemmy

Hello. I am 51 and have been battling chronic, often severe, depression since 1989. I also found "professional help" ineffective on the psychology side and ultimately harmful on the psychiatry side (meds)...for me. I understand that they are helpful for most, but no two people are the same.

I have found that there is no one thing you can do. There is no "silver bullet". It will likely take a number of techniques and solutions in conjunction and others only when needed. Here are a few that might help, or might not.

• Fitness and Exercise - Yes, I know. The last thing you want to do is torture yourself further but, the effects can be immediate. Sometimes a strength and cardio workout can give you enough of a chemical kick in the ass to help you through at least part of your day.

• Bullet Journaling - Journaling is the most useful tip I got from a therapist, but it wasn't until I tried Bullet Journaling that I saw its potential. It is very easy to get lost in ourselves and lose all hope of anything ever being better. Keeping a journal, especially one as detailed and focused on your well-being as a bullet journal, can really help you realize tye progress you have made. It can also help you evaluate your past states of mind and possibly find relationships between those states of mind and things you have done. Maybe you notice a pattern between depressive episodes and eating steak or broccoli or chats with your sister, etc. Don't scoff, depression is fucking weird. Anyway, I highly recommend reading The Bullet Journal Method by Ryder Carroll. If money is an issue, you can probably find it in you local library system, used book stores, or 🏴‍☠️ if you must. I bought a copy used on Amazon for $6.

• Quit Alcohol - Sorry. Depression and alcohol consumption are besties and every time they get together, you pay the price. Not much more to say than that.

• Microdose - I personally don't think it is a good idea to get full on high. Again, we are not identical robots. Everyone has a different bio-chemical system, but abuse of any one substance never tends to work out well. That said, microdosing weed literally saved my life. I won't go into details but chronic and severe insomnia had me a the edge of suicide. The meds I was being given were not helping and they were literally stealing "me" from myself. Two puffs from a vape pen before bed (not enough to get me proper high) gave me a solid five to six hours of sleep (I was getting 60-90 minutes before).

• Diet - Eat as clean as you can. The less processed food and ingredients the better (looking at you sugar). Eat balanced. Instead of making meat the centerpiece of the meal, try making the enhancement. Lots of greens, legumes, fruit, etc, on your plate to go along with your small piece of protein. EDIT: This one is important not only for nutrition but also because of your microbiome. There is increasing evidence of links between microbiotic gut health and mental health. But also, you need good nutrition.

• Hydrate - I struggle with this one too.

• Interact with others in person - I am not saying that you need friends and family, or that you need to surround yourself by loving relationships, etc. All that sounds great, but isn't on the cards for many people. It also comes with the risk of introducing toxic people or relationships into your life. What I mean is, try to make an effort to engage with the humans around you, even if it is superficial. I small talk with my cashier at the market, my waiter, etc. I try to engage with others as often as I can. It is low risk because if they don't respond you can move on and you will never see them again, and even if you do, they will likely not remember you. Just don't keep trying with that one person if it didn't work previously. Don't be creepy. The point is that our stupid monkey brains need that. We do not do well with absolute isolation.

• Sunlight - You need it.

• Recognize and remove toxic people and relationships from your orbit - The word "orbit" is on purpose. I do mean directly from your life, that should be obvious, but I also mean from your vicinity. Maybe you hang with someone who's nice but they are in a toxic relationship. You don't need that energy around you, especially if that person is just an acquaintance (we overuse the word friend when we often mean close acquaintance). This might sound cold but you need to save yourself before you even think about trying to save others. Otherwise your depressed ass might do more harm than good.

Remember, these are just opinions. No two people are the same. You need to find what works for you.